Why therapy? Talking to mental health professionals can bring incredible value to those who do it, especially where relationships are concerned. A great many things can happen which affect relationship satisfaction, most of them having very distinct affects on psychology and mindset. When those things are dealt with, when you treat mental and emotional health, finding true love, or rejuvenating and existing relationship, becomes much easier.

Everything you think, do, and experience, has an effect on your mindset, and from there, the results that you achieve across every area of your life.

Unfortunately, most people have little idea of how to properly process emotional issues, and negative thoughts. Most people choose to mask issues with other things that essentially drown out the thoughts, drinking and drugs being very common, if poor self treatment strategies very severe relationship effects. Poor therapy and treatment of mental health issues often leads to abusive and toxic relationships, which generally compound the core issues.

Talking with a mental health professional, even if it may seem embarrassing at first, is one of the most empowering things you can do in life. The results facilitated as a result is that mental health issues can be easily overcome, and desired results actually achieved.

There are a lot of different types of therapy sessions, and therapists, all good for different things, and different levels of psychological challenges. Understanding the value they can bring you, and your ability to develop a rewarding and healthy relationship, is the first step. From there, knowing how to find a therapist who’s good, the right therapist, is incredibly valuable.

Letting Go Of Negative Emotions And Limiting Beliefs Is Easier With Help From Mental Health Professionals And Greatly Benefits Relationships

Common Mental Health Conditions That Affect Relationships

Emotional Challenges Negatively Affect Relationships So Deal With Them

There are a great many issues that can affect relationship health, the ones which come up most commonly are:

Anxiety disorders

These can be generalized anxiety disorders, panic disorders, involve social situations, selective mutism, and a wide variety of other factors and characteristics.

The core of all conditions involving anxiety is the perception of a negative outcome for a future event. Essentially it is a form is extreme negative thinking, usually on an unconscious level, which then leaks into consciousness where it becomes accentuated.

Relationship effects revolve around increased levels of stress for both partners, with the calmer partner usually working to calm and ease the one in a state of panic and anxiety. This can be very challenging due to the diversity of psychological triggers which bring about the surface level reactions that are observed.


Talk Therapy And Exposure Therapy Handle Issues Very Differently
Approximately 8.3% of adults in the U.S. experienced at least one major depressive episode in 2021. With depression is widely cited as one of the most common types of mental health issues.

There is a myriad of causes, which vary from person to person, each resulting in different levels of effect in terms of depth. Depression at root comes from, and amplifies, a negative view of the self and the world around. It has been noted as being challenging to treat by many experienced therapists, largely due to the sheer variety of causes, some of which are believed to be psychological, while others are perceived as genetic.

Within relationships, depression often results in both partners becoming negative over time. Even when one partner is very optimistic and positive, the constant wear of encouraging their partner, ensuring they feel loved, and stopping them from feeling overwhelmed, brings serious challenge. At first it often results in needing mental health breaks from each other, which over time can result in greater separation, then neglect and complete relationship breakdown.

Low Self Esteem

Low self esteem results in a negative view of the self, specifically creating feelings of being unworthy of love or deserving of good things. Often going hand in hand with depression due to the negativity involved. They form downward spirals which feed off of each other and lead to each mental health condition becoming a greater challenge.

Core differences with the negative feelings that form depression and low esteem center around the view of the self, which in many ways makes treating esteem issues far easier. Provided the root causes can be unearthed, and the right techniques utilized to overcome the limiting decisions and beliefs that resulted from those causes.

Bipolar Disorder

There are three stages of this condition as outlined by the NIH:
  • Bipolar I disorder
  • Bipolar II disorder
  • Cyclothymic disorder

The stage I disorder is deemed the most serious in nature, with manic episodes lasting for at least 7 days, for most of the day on each of those seven, or so severe they lead to the need for immediate medical care of the person concerned.

Stage II does have a pattern of depressive or hypomanic episodes, though less severe than stage I. While Cyclothymic disorder, also known as cyclothymia, involves recurring depressive or hypomanic symptoms, which lack the intensity or duration required to be qualified as hypomanic or depressive episodes.

People with these disorders can shift between being high and elated, the depths of deep depression, highly irritable, indifferent, sad, or even hopeless, with little to no notice. These symptoms are accompanied by shits in their activity, energy and concentration levels, which can result in day to day tasks being challenging.

It can be challenging for partners to deal with, and even support partners with these conditions, in part due to the unpredictable nature associated with them. Challenges often arise regarding communication, and often partners can feel overwhelmed, like they’re walking on egg shells, out of fear for setting off an episode.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Obsessive compulsive disorder, widely known as OCD, involves what are characterized as recurring and unwanted thoughts over which the person believes they have no control. Usually in an effort to control those thoughts persons with OCD take on behaviors which are compulsive and repetitive, the constant hand washing being one known to many.

While many have unwanted thoughts, and find themselves caught in a spiral of negativity unless they summon the mental discipline to pull themselves out, those with OCD find their daily activities greatly affected by the necessity to undertake, and complete, the compulsive behaviors they have taken on. When they are unable to complete a behavioral set which forms an element of their coping strategies, they can end up feeling profoundly distressed. Often with concerns for the dire consequences that may occur as a result of failure to complete what they view as a required task.

Within relationships the thoughts and behaviors resulting from obsessive compulsive disorder can be extremely disruptive, and challenging for partners. While most partners can learn the various triggers, there is variability and unknowns which can trigger an episode. It can be extremely disruptive during daily activities, dates, and everything else the couple does, both together and apart.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Eye Movement Desensitization Can Help Relieve Anxiety And PTSD
Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can come from a variety of things, while commonly associated with conflict, it can also result from any traumatic experience including accidents, natural disasters, abuse of varying types. Generally it is characterized by an experience of high intensity which brings about high levels of fear and negative emotion from seeing or experiencing a traumatic event.

PTSD can lead to a variety of issues, with flashbacks, negative self view (such as survivor guilt), trouble sleeping, detachment from others and the world in general, easily being startled, and feeling the need to be very vigilant. Other issues including issues with memory recall, concentration, plus physical pain including headaches, often result due to high levels of ongoing stress causing issues due to excessive levels of cortisol in the body.

With a very loving, caring, and understanding partner much of this can be managed. It does bring challenges though. People with PTSD can lead relatively normal lives when calm is around them, when things get stressful it can become relatively unpredictable, and very challenging. Those with PTSD can get a doctor or psychiatrist to prescribe medication that helps manage their condition, it still requires environmental management though, in part because unpredictability can lead to some people altering their own dosing and edging into substance abuse as a result. Something which brings further challenges for relationships.

What Types Of Mental Health Services Can Help?

Social Workers And Human Services Can Help With Challenging Families

There’s a variety of mental health professionals that can help, all with their own type of specialized training for dealing with mental and emotional problems. There are multiple routes for dealing with mental and emotional challenges, and while techniques are one element of overcoming them, finding a therapist or coach that you get along with and trust is also incredibly important.

So, as well as finding someone you get along well with, someone you trust and have faith in, they need to be a good therapist. Everyone has different levels of skills with what they do, and when working with mental health professionals, especially ones who will be using prescribe medications as part of treatment, you must work with the best therapist possible. Certifications is one small point of indication, experience and ability are far more important cues, though judging the balance can be a challenge in itself.

Three Core Types Of Mental Health Services That Can Help


Counselling brings very mixed results, depending on the patient involved and the complexity or depth of their issue.

One core reason for counselling lacking efficacy is that it is reliant on the patient to reach their own breakthroughs. The counsellor is there largely to facilitate an opening of the mind, and the beginning of a release process, they little active part in overcoming challenges the majority of what they do is provide someone to listen. Essentially a licensed professional counsellor, or social worker, provides talk therapy sessions, with the belief being that through talking you will unburden yourself and release the issues which are causing problems in your life.

A licensed professional counselor can provide benefit when dealing with specific mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety, they generally provide less benefit as conditions become more serious in nature, such as OCD, PTSD, etc.

As a note, licensed clinical social workers (LCSW), who have done a Master’s degree in Social Work with an accredited school, and completed a minimum of 3,000 hours of supervised work, can work effectively with more serious psychological health issues with techniques expanded into psychotherapy.


Psychodynamic Therapy Explores Links Between Past And Present Mindset
Psychotherapy, i.e. working with a clinical psychologist or psychiatrist can provide effective treatment, along with a specific treatment plan, for a great many mental health conditions.

Techniques from cognitive behavioral therapy, psychodynamic therapy, and interpersonal therapy are used across treatment sessions with patients, with each doctor adapting usage of techniques according to their view of the patient and their issues, along with how that patient responds to treatment. Psychiatrists can also employ use of pharmaceutical treatment within their overall treatment plan.

In the U.S. activities are governed by the American Psychiatric association (APA).


Getting Coaching From A Good NLP Coach Can Bring Rapid Breakthroughs

Coaching, while being less regulated than counselling and psychotherapy, is highly effective for a lot of people. There are a variety of of qualifications and certifications, from a simple coaching course through to high level courses in things like Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), all of which are done to different levels of efficacy and quality depending on the certifying organization, the ABNLP being one of the best for Neuro Linguistic Programming.

Those who undergo therapy with a good coaching professional generally gain deeper results faster than they would with a professional counsellor. Largely because good coaches work in a very active manner with their clients, using techniques that shift their client’s understanding of reality, thus bringing mindset change in a directed, empowering way.

Coaching comes in many forms too, with couples work possible using relationship coaching, or individuals working on their own issues separately as a way of improving the relationship by clearing awaytheir personal issues.

Whether you are considering searching using an organization such as ICF, or going for a recommended provider such as coaching with OCC, ensure the coach you work with is highly proficient and that you get along with them. Good interpersonal relationships are vital for success with coaching as part of your mental health care.

How To Talk To A Therapist

The Right Therapist Brings Benefit Whether Online Or In Person Therapy

Whether you’re talking to marriage and family therapists, or other mental health professionals, doing couples therapy, group therapy sessions or one on one online therapy sessions, knowing what to talk about or not talk about are issues that hold people back from making the progress that’s actually possible.

The biggest points to note about communication with any therapist or coach, is to be completely open and honest, about everything. Your therapist is there to guide you to breakthroughs and release, they can only do so when you are telling the truth and being open in every therapy session that you take part in.

Common Points People Have Queries About Talking To Therapists

How To Talk To A Therapist For The First Time

One key point when talking to any therapist about your mental health needs, is to relax and talk calmly with them. They are there to help you. It is their entire purpose. Helping you achieve the breakthroughs and release, which will lead you into enjoying a happy and empowered life.

Granted, depending on what has brought you to seeking mental health services from a trained professional may have you feeling less than calm or relaxed, hence booking in for therapy. That said, from the time of deciding, and scheduling therapy sessions, you can begin to relax, even if only a little, due to the knowledge that they will help. Then, as you open up more, and face the issues in an open, and responsible way, you will naturally start to unburden yourself, and become calmer.

When you talk to a therapist for the first time they will take time getting to know you. So, expect a lot of questions, it’s natural. In building up a greater picture of your life, and everything that’s happened, they will come to understand your issues better, and thus be able to help you more fully.

How To Talk To A Therapist About Relationship Issues

Couples Can Benefit From Family Therapy With A Good Family Counselor

Seeking therapy for relationship issues, or talking to a family therapist regarding challenges you are facing at home comes with a high need for open mindedness, and a necessity for keeping clear of blaming others for issues.

Relationships issues never stem from a single person, unless you are taking complete responsibility for everything that has happened. Something which is a precept of neuro linguistic programming, where clients can either choose to have results or reasons. When a person wants good results, they must take a viewpoint of putting themselves at cause for everything that has happened. Doing so internalizes the solution, allowing for challenges to be overcome, and results achieved. By placing blame on others solutions are externalized, and thus the person can only accept reasons why they have failed to get results. This is a challenge for many, especially at first, though it does lead to incredible breakthroughs.

When doing couples therapy, honor your partner by allowing them to say things from their perspective, never interrupting them and observe healthy boundaries. Equally well, listen to your therapist, they are a specialist who knows what they’re doing.

Be open with your communication and your mindset, only through mindset change can your situation change and improve.

How To Talk To A Therapist About Anxiety

Treatment Delivered By Video Sessions Can Feel Less Confrontational

When talking with therapists about anxiety you need to be open to probing questions. Good mental health professionals seek out the root causes of anxiety, treating them, so that the issues disappear, or at the very least lessen with each treatment session.

Generally this will involve looking at your mental health history, discussing earlier stages of your life, as well as what happens in the run up to episodes of anxiety. Different situations will be discussed, all of which is done by your therapist so that they can build a picture of how anxiety is rooted in your mindset. So they can find the root causes, then help you remove them, or cerate new patterns of thinking that allow you to side step causes of anxiety.

Again, be open with your communication, honest, and open to changing your mindset so that the issues of anxiety can go away.

How To Talk To Your Therapist About Depression

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Helps Restructure Your Mindset Positively

Depression comes with variety of perceived causes, some being biological, some being neurological and psychological. With those perceived as biological, a licensed mental health professional will usually prescribe medication depending on the seriousness of the condition. Often they will keep an eye out for issues of substance abuse that can arise as a result. Only when causes of depression are deemed to be psychological will a mental health professional work through sessions of talk therapy, using cognitive behavioral therapy, psychodynamic therapy, interpersonal therapy and other options including techniques from things such as neuro linguistic programming.

Talking about depression can be challenging for many due to the requirement for self reflection, and building self awareness.

On a psychological level, it is perceptions about their environment that cause the person in therapy to become depressed. Your therapist has to understand your way of thinking, so that they can help you to change your belief structure, and from there release yourself from depression.

Always be open with your communication, honest with everything you say, and open minded so that solutions can come.

Hard Questions To Ask Your Therapist

Traditional Therapy And Modern Techniques Can Bring Different Results

Some questions can be hard, especially for the person asking, as well as for the therapist involved depending on their training and ability to be direct yet compassionate.

5 Important Questions To Ask Your Therapist
  • Is it my fault?
  • How did I cause this?
  • How can I change for the better?
  • What changes to my life would be wise?
  • Other than therapy what can I do?

Be mindful of their responses, and how you respond to what they say. Therapy is one element of the personal change that leads to enjoying the results most people dream of in life, taking responsibility for your situation is important, and making changes across your entire life can bring benefit supportive of achieving the results you desire.

Benefits Of Getting Therapy Before, During And After Relationships

Examine Your Needs Carefully When Choosing Individual Or Group Therapy

Mental health care can be wise on a regular basis, and there are some clear reasons why seeking professional help can bring benefit at different stages of relationships. Many of the issues that arise can do so irrespective of your age group, every generation faces its own issues and challenges, all of which have their own impact on mindset and mental health.

Getting Help During A Relationship

When you seek help during a relationship you have the opportunity to turn the relationship around. Resolve issues that led to a toxic relationship, potentially even bringing an end to abuse depending on certain things, and transform that relationship into a healthy and loving one.

Neglect is the reason behind 70% of divorces in the US, much of which comes from couples failing to communicate properly. Some of this is a result of lack of understanding around preferred love languages, talking with family therapists and going through couples counselling can help resolve these issues.

Equally well, doing things to overcome eating disorders, social anxiety, depression and other conditions can help the person receiving treatment to become happier, more at ease and essentially well adjusted. Which in turn improves relationship quality for both partners, as their partnership becomes more functional and less stressful.

Getting Help After Relationship Break Up

Break ups can be traumatic for a lot of people, depending on how deep the relationship was, how many relationships they have been in, and whether the relationship had turned toxic or abusive.

The trauma of break up can result in various limiting decisions forming within the mindset, which then go on to affect the opportunity for happiness in the future. Often issues can arise regarding low self esteem and self love, with potential therapists having a good understanding of coaching methods to help people move on after a break up, or to deal with ghosting, often being more beneficial than most medical doctors can be in such situations. Dealing with issues properly can make it much easier to find love again, then maintain a loving long lasting relationship.

Getting Help Before Starting A Relationship

Emotional Problems Need Specialized Training To Overcome Healthily

Clearing out, letting go and releasing, any mental health condition before searching for a relationship is very wise. Especially issues such as the fear of falling in love. When people have limiting beliefs, issues with depression, anxiety, eating disorders, etc. then they will face challenges finding their ideal life partner. By cleaning away mental health conditions, and taking yourself into a state of healthy self confidence, and healthy esteem, with a good dating mindset, you become much more able to find the right marriage partner, and also maintain a healthy relationship.

Most people face serious challenges when they are searching for a partner, something we know well at Marriage Matching from our years of experience running a marriage agency. Those who go through personal development, and actually clean up their mindset and prepare for a relationship properly, before searching for a marriage partner, are the ones who in general find the right person in the most timely manner. Those who have various mental health conditions when they are searching, generally find higher levels of challenge as a result.

How To Find A Good Mental Health Professional

Use A National Association Or Good Recommendation To Find A Therapist

Whether choosing in person therapy, or online therapy, having the right therapist is essential to get the best results for you. Sometimes you may start with one, then switch to a different therapist as your therapy evolves, or if you find clashes or personality arise. Most therapists, coaches, and those offering human services will offer an introductory session before starting any course of treatment. Such sessions are wise as they give you both a chance to see how you get along. With rapport being one of the things that is core to success, finding a therapist that you get along well with, is crucial.

Using A Reputable Source To Find A Therapist Is Wise

When you believe that a psychiatrist would be the most beneficial for your situation, then going via the American Psychiatric association (APA) if you are in the US, can be a good place to find help. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) is a government run organization that can also help you find support from licensed therapists in the US.

Do Your Due Diligence On Potential Therapists

Many therapists and licensed marriage counsellors who do sessions using either a group setting or individual therapy can of course be found via their own websites, or in local searches. It is also worth remembering that many professionals pay for marketing assistance, so just because someone is easily found, does not make them the best solution for you. Equally well, just because a therapist or coach is listed on an association or government website does not mean they will be any good.

Spend time talking with them, check their background, certifications, and do your due diligence before committing to any course of therapy with anyone.

Talking With The Right Therapist Will Help You Achieve Relationship Success

Mental health issues affect most people at some point in their life. Most mental health conditions can be overcome, provided they are psychological in nature, just by talking with the right therapist. By doing your due diligence, then working with the right therapist, in an open and honest way, where you’re also open to changing your mindset, will help you achieve the relationship results that you desire.

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