Great relationships are great because of the high level of compatibility that exists between partners. They are beyond healthy relationships, filled with true love, with a level of romance that transcends what most people experience during their lifetime.

While romantic relationships are relatively common, basically anyone dating is in a romantic relationship to some degree, healthy relationships are rather less common due to how many partners interact with each other. Extrapolating out, and from experience in both running a marriage agency and from professional coaching work, great relationships are a real rarity.

In short, it takes a lot of energy on the part of both people, openness in communication, plus very high levels of compatibility so that attraction and love never dissipate.

They are a goal for every loving couple, a goal which is achievable provided the work is put in.

Compatibility can change over time, people can become either more or less compatible, or remain the same. There is a degree of conscious influence possible here, and certainly while you cannot change people you can change yourself, you can also do things to get someone to like you.

When you bring all this together, and especially when you know how to choose the right life partner, then a great relationship is entirely possible for you.

Great Relationships Go Beyond The Characteristics Of Healthy Relationships And Bring Incredible Fulfillment To Partners

What Makes A Great Relationship Psychology

Turning Romantic Relationships Into Loving Ones Requires Compatibility

The psychology of a great relationship is relatively simple.

What makes a relationship great is the core compatibility of the two partners, shared values and beliefs are crucial. These aspects of mindset cascade to ensure healthy behaviors around communication, respect, ensuring the other person’s needs are fulfilled, and everything else crucial for a loving long term relationship.

Every Relationship Is A Product Of Mindset

When people have differing mindsets, whether fixed and growth mindsets, or variations in values and beliefs, challenges and stress set in. While dating mindset is important, it’s core mindset alignment which is vital for great relationships.

When two people have truly aligned thinking, have the same future goals and dreams, and wish to live in the same way, then what is known as compatibility is rated as high.

Granted, from having similar pastimes and hobbies, a level of compatibility can be achieved. Though it tends to evaporate when doing things, including regular living, outside of those mutually enjoyed activities.

When people want the same things from the future, have complete agreement in how life should be lived, and genuinely care for each other, then it is almost effortless being together for them. Little energy, and minimal thought is needed, it all runs smoothly and naturally.

When compatibility, from core values and beliefs is low, and the couple are together based more on physical attraction or some other vector for togetherness, then if they wish to have a great relationship a huge amount of conscious effort is needed. They have to be mindful of how their actions will be perceived by their partner, and how to communicate most effectively with them.

Communication Is Based On Perception Of The Person Receiving It

One of the reasons neuro linguistic programming helps improve relationships, is that it teaches people to communicate effectively.

Communication is always the responsibility of the person communicating, so when there is a misunderstanding it’s up to them to clear things up. In that all communication is perception based, with words having multiple meanings, and things like tone of voice and physiology impacting on the message being given, there is a lot to be careful of.

One common issue is that of perceived sarcasm by some partners, something which can seriously break rapport and trust, even if the person communicating was being genuine.

One of the reasons that shared core values and beliefs are so important. When people think the same way, they tend to communicate the same way, thus misunderstandings are minimized. Learning each other’s preferred love languages can help with this, it’s still better when mindset, core values and beliefs are shared though.

What Builds A Good Relationship?

A Healthy Relationship Is The Foundation Of A Strong Relationship

A good relationship can never be built by one partner alone. When one partner is doing all the work, it is essentially an abusive toxic relationship which exists.

Every good relationship that exist has been built from how both partners interact with each other, and build love together.

One thing which is vital, in addition to shared mindset, is open communication.
Without communication healthy relationships are unable to exist, and they are the foundation from which things can be good. Good communication builds trust, period. Things have to be open, essentially your partner needs to be your best friend, the one person you can talk to about anything, and who can talk to you about anything free from judgement too. As a note, research suggests communication levels correlate to satisfaction in relationships, even if not directly affecting satisfaction, issues with introversion and communicative styles all impact on this.

How To Keep A Relationship Strong And Happy

Talk With A Good Coach Rather Than Friends To Overcome Challenges

When challenges arise, going through the silent treatment, telling someone they’re wrong, focusing on their own needs above their partner’s, holding on to the past and ‘keeping score’ are all deeply unhealthy things to be doing.

Focus on each other, come to understand the other side, and finding a solution, a path through. Get relationship coaching if needed to help you sort things out, doing so can help show you are committed to each other and your love for each other.

There are times when some alone time is needed by some partners, especially if they’re introverts. People who are introverted tend to process their feelings and thoughts better internally, so a little processing time can help take pressure off, and facilitate healthier discussions when they happen. Be aware of each other’s coping strategies, adapt with them provided they’re healthy. As a note, alone time can be healthy, alcohol and use of other substances as coping mechanisms is unhealthy.

Talking things through, in a manner where you focus your full attention on each other, keeping good eye contact, and both feel safe sharing, is healthy and can result in situations being dealt with easily.

Strong relationships require that both partners feel comfortable expressing themselves in their own way. This is a simple behavior, yet one which is vital.

When there is lack of understanding, share that information, and work together to create understanding.

Good Relationships Require You Spend Time Together

For a truly good, strong relationship, quality time together is essential.

This is generally easier in a new relationship when things are exciting. It is important to maintain healthy time together as relationships mature in order to keep love building and flowing.

While digital communication is good for helping people keep in contact, and build relationships when they are long distance, being together, in person, has zero substitute. Even if nothing is said, because you are enjoying a quiet walk together or a movie, being together holds incredible value. This is especially true for those who have physical touch or quality time as their primary love language, something which is worth checking carefully.

Physical presence enables clearer communication for most people, unless they have high level training with things like neuro linguistic programming. It is far to easy to interpret written messages differently from how they were intended, even voice calls can bring challenge. When you are with someone in person, their body language yields a far more readable picture, and brings greater understanding, thus better relationship building opportunities.

Early Signs Of A Good Relationship

Mutual Respect And Quality Time Are Vital For Healthy Relationships
Body language is one of the best indicators of a good relationship, especially early on.

There are things that couples are generally too shy to say to each other in the early stages, yet their physiology often gives those signals far more quickly due to unconscious responses. People generally think about what they’re saying, because they want to make the right impression, not make a fool of themselves, etc. They rarely think about their physiology though, those little gestures like preening, moving closer, sustained eye contact with a quick look away and a glance back, are all good signals that people rarely have conscious awareness of.

Physiology will give you a far clearer idea of what a person thinks and feels than their words.

Breathing rate, provided you can calibrate on it without looking strange, is a very good cue. Slow, deep breathing naturally indicates a state of relaxation, and thus feelings of safety. Elevated breathing rate shows excitement, though when it is rapid and shallow the person could well be in panic! Matching breathing rate with other signals, especially eye contact, and whether the eyes are soft or hard in their appearance and focus on you, as well as how close they are to you, plus their level of muscle tension, and you get a very good impression of what they’re thinking about you and the situation.

5 Things That Make A Relationship Work

  • Regular time together
  • Open communication
  • Healthy communication frequency when apart
  • Healthy boundaries
  • Compassion

Spending time together, as mentioned earlier, is how trust and rapport are built. Granted, you have to be doing things which develop positive emotional feelings within each other, though the more time you have available to do so the better. One note on this, is that when negative emotional feelings come up, you need to work through them together to reestablish rapport and trust, unless you do there will be fractures in the relationship which will weaken it.

This in part is where establishing healthy boundaries, communicating openly and showing compassion to each other is vital.

Healthy Behaviors And Mutual Respect Are Vital For Real Love

Choose Your Partner Carefully To Enjoy A Great Relationship

When you have healthy boundaries then healthy behaviors which both partners find acceptable are easier to keep and maintain. There is less concern about what might upset the other person, as you have both set terms and agreed them.

Communicating openly means you can easily get back on the same page and reduce risk of relationship drift.

Then by ensuring you’re compassionate with each other, forgiving things, sorting errors and transgressions in a mature, kind hearted manner, you can keep building love even in the face of adversity.

Reconsider Unhealthy Relationships When They’re Beyond Help

Naturally, if a partner’s behavior consistently runs over boundaries, then reconsidering things to find a partner with better compatibility could be very wise. As mentioned earlier, every great relationship is the product of both partners working together, mutually, it never happens as a result of just one person’s efforts.

A further point on this, when you start out as the ‘other partner’ then you’re unlikely to find fulfillment. Most people who cheat rarely stop. So when someone has that pattern, regardless of how charming, and fun they are to be with, walk away. You’re better off finding someone who will be faithful to you, it will save a lot of hurt.

What Are The 7 Traits Of A Healthy Relationship?

You Can Make A Strong Relationship Great With The Loving Attention

While many people search for five or seven traits they can hone in on with their partner, there are in reality far more. You can however distill the 10 core marriage partner checkpoints of how to choose a life partner down into the seven shared below, it is however highly recommended to read the full article on the 10 recommended for choosing a life partner as they are all important for creating a great relationship which can last long term.

7 Most Important Characteristics Of Healthy Relationships
  • Shared Values
  • Mutual Commitment
  • Communication, Communication, Communication
  • Allowing Space When Needed
  • Keeping Healthy Boundaries
  • Mutual Respect
  • Intimacy

For those wanting a perfect relationship, things are non-negotiable, with all being equally important.

Even on a bad day, you have to find ways to keep to these traits as closely as possible, and make restitution when challenges arise. Keeping these things flowing is key to success and having a strong relationship filled with love and affection.

Having these traits for just a few moments here and there will never produce quality results. Great relationships come from weathering challenges, hard times, and everything else life throws at you both, and still keeping the love flowing.

What Makes The Strongest Relationship?

Research Suggests Love Passion And Positive Emotions Are Key Factors
Clinical research suggests that 95% of people consider “Love and passion” and over 94% consider “Positive emotions” as the top benefits of intimate relationships.
Couples who mutually seek love and passion, or positive emotions, together, i.e. due to shared values, are more likely to form strong relationships.

Using Coaching To Ensure Your Mindset Supports A Healthy Relationship

Coaching is a great tool for removing challenges from the past, i.e. limiting decisions, limiting beliefs and negative emotions, which detract from ability to build a strong relationship.

It is always worth getting good coaching to move on after a breakup, as a good coach will help clean up the mindset issues that can lead to challenges with self love and self esteem, which are both core to relationship stability and ability to find your perfect life partner. Thus helping you to prepare for a relationship effectively.

Equally well, having relationship coaching, as a couple or on your own, during a time of relationship challenges can help you clear out mindset issues that are the root cause of the challenges.

While friends and family can be helpful and supportive, they are nowhere near as beneficial as working with a good coach.

Finding The Right Romantic Partner To Build A Relationship With

Building a healthy relationship filled with the emotional intimacy and affection, in a way that’s free from compromise, is far easier when you are with the right partner from the beginning.

Those 7 traits, or the wider 10 points for choosing a life partner, are important almost beyond measure. From the perspective of years of experience running a marriage agency this can be said with incredibly high confidence. The couples that have gone through the introductions, or as it’s known in Japan omiai, process, and find a marriage partner successfully, are those who have that high level core compatibility.

When there are limitations with finding the right partner due to your available dating pool, expand it. Get help from a professional matchmaker if need be. Matchmaking is an incredibly good way for ensuring you do end up with the right partner for life, and especially for marriage.

Never compromise in search of a healthy relationship. Find the right partner because core compatibility, especially in terms of core values and mindset are where the foundations of truly great relationships are found.

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