True love is defined by how two people think and feel about each other.
Many people spend years searching for true love, some find it very quickly, others never seem to find it regardless of how much they search.
For some, they never realize that they had true love, right there in front of them, until the opportunity has slipped them by.
One of the big issues that faces many seeking true love, is being in the right mindset to actually find and notice that right person with whom they naturally fall into harmony with. Dating mindset is incredibly important when seeking out true love, and it is essential to clean your past, along with your beliefs about love, so that you can find your ideal life partner. Plus from there on, enjoy that serene true love which seems almost mystical to many at times.
True Love In A Romantic Sense Is The Emotional Connection Formed Between Separate Human Beings And Comes When Your Mindset Is Setup Right
What True Love Is
What true love is, is a matter of perspective for some.
While one person can believe that they are truly in love with someone, the other person may believe that the other lacks the deeper knowledge of them needed for real love to exist.
Equally well, the other person’s perspective could be that the person in love is like a stalker, and wishes they were left alone by them. Perspective and unity of thought and feeling is very important.
There is however a core definition of true love, which transcends all types of situations, and beliefs about society, culture, and progressiveness.
What Is True Love Definition
In terms of a romantic definition, true love is what happens when two separate human beings have a genuine desire to love and care for each other in an unconditional manner.
There is a requirement for each person’s perspective to match up equally, for balance and harmony to exist between them, for true love to exist romantically.
While one person may believe they have true love for someone, without being in a relationship, usually that is in reality an infatuation. Understanding the psychology of true love makes it easier to find and experience it.
It is possible to have true love for people around you, friends, family, etc. in a non-romantic way. Something which is a precept for many spiritual systems, most notably with systems such as Buddhism. Though other religions have elements that come through, albeit condition based, as such removing the unconditional element.
What Is A Truly Loving Relationship
A truly loving relationship, or a healthy relationship, is what results from two partners that have a deep sense of true love for each other. Where harmony and balance exists between them. They work through life’s challenges together, always being supportive, forging a good relationship together every step of the way, regardless of the challenge that’s faced.
While some struggle with stability due to proximity issues, largely the need for physical touch, it is completely possible for long distance relationships to be truly loving. Many who have challenging work that draws them away from their partner, be that domestically or internationally, still overcome those distance issues by enjoying quality time when they are together, and having faith in each other when apart.
As a marriage agency that does international matchmaking, we get to see couples overcoming the distance boundaries on a daily basis through what we do at Marriage Matching. Loving feelings between truly compatible partners never need physical contact in order to flourish.
In a truly loving relationship, it is that meeting of the minds that matters most.
Loving, committed relationships, flourish when partners have shared values, shared beliefs, communicate openly and effectively among other things. To understand the foundations of truly loving relationships is it worth reading the article how to choose a life partner 10 core marriage partner checkpoints.
Definition Of True Love In Comparison To Unconditional Love
The differences are subtle, yet important nonetheless.
While true love is unconditional, it requires a reciprocation of feelings and desire to be together between the two people involved. That equality and harmony bringing them together as soulmates.
Unconditional love can be felt by anyone, for anyone, regardless of reciprocity.
A person can be unconditional in their love for someone, eager to do anything to make them happy, and help them. Though that other person may have zero feelings of love in return, instead just drawing everything they can from them until they move on.
What Does True Love Mean?
True love is all about the special connection you share with a person, with ‘share’ being the operative word. Unless the feeling is shared, unless it’s mutual, it’s something else.
True love is always mutual and unconditional between the two people involved.
True Love In Romantic Relationships
True love is most commonly applied to romantic relationships, chiefly as their is the clearest distinction in terms of being unconditional.
True love in a romantic capacity brings about a passionate bond between the two people involved. They orientate their worlds around each other, shifting their focus in such a way as to make each other the most important person in their life.
This means that in terms of a marriage, a husband places his wife as the most important person in his life. While a wife places her husband as the most important person in hers.
It is a mutual point to prioritize each other in this way. When there is an imbalance, due to someone else, or other relationships, being viewed as more important by one or both partners, then while they may indeed love each other, it is something other than true love.
Ensure You And Your Partner Work Together Properly Before Committing
Not everyone experiences this mutual prioritization, and in those instances things should be carefully evaluated. Certainly prior to marriage, or any type of civil commitment, you should be fully aware of how each of you place in each other’s point of view with priorities. Plus have enough evidence to fully accept that you are as stated for each other. When couples are dating, and happy to be of lower priority, so be it. Equally well, things can change in life, people’s priorities can change, something which should come with careful discussion.
When you are lower down your partner’s priority list, think very carefully. Consider your level of self esteem, and whether improving your level of self love would be good. When you let a partner walk all over you, you are heading for serious psychological challenge and likely heartache. Certainly that person is unlikely to be your soul mate where any amount of neglect, or even abuse, is involved.
For couples to be the best version of themselves, that mutual top priority is essential for a healthy relationship. Along with compassionate treatment, and respect of each other.
True Love In Terms Of Family Members
Some people do refer to true love in terms of family members, key points in terms of difference are the platonic nature of family relationships, along with a sense of conditionality of love between members of the family.
Family tends to come with an implied sense of duty, whereas romantic partnerships have a voluntary decision in terms of duty towards each other.
What Is The Meaning Of True Love In A Relationship?
True love in a relationship comes when partner’s love each other for who they are, rather than who they could be.
This means never working to change your partner.
When you accept your partner for who they are, and love them as they are, then you are in the territory of true love.
Neither person should ever take a partner who they feel “could be great with a little work.”
For relationships to work, there must be an alignment of values and beliefs. While people can change, all change must come voluntarily. When pressure is involved, or applied in order to cause change that is unwanted, it usually backfires and causes issues later.
True love is essentially experienced when two people think and feel as one.
While physical attraction is often important in terms of bringing people together, being that thing that creates motivation or inspiration to connect. It is how personalities actually integrate with each other that actually brings the resonance and harmony which has people knowing that they truly love each other.
How To Know When You Have Found True Love
When two people truly love each other, they treat each other with kindness, respect, compassion and love.
The mind is a complex thing, and a huge amount goes on on the unconscious level within your mindset. The beating of your heart, the regulation of your breathing, release of chemicals governing digestion and sleep, being just some of the things your unconscious mind does in running your body, and your life, on a daily basis.
Ask people what they are looking for in terms of their ideal life partner, and you usually get a relatively short list, which then starts expanding the more it is pressed and probed.
Within your mindset you have an unconscious checklist of things you are seeking out in terms of your ideal partner. A list which will change with experiences, learning and time. What might have been important in your early twenties may become irrelevant in your forties.
The how to choose a life partner 10 core marriage partner checkpoints post sheds a lot of light on what to be aware of when choosing a life partner. All of which align very well with how people understand and experience true love, though are rarely conscious of doing so.
When you are going through that checklist, you will know relatively well whether you have found true love.
For most, they go on a gut feeling, which can be fine when you are well in tune with your instinct.
Love, as with other emotions, is essentially a gut feeling.
It is wise to assess any gut feeling about love with a conscious check of how you and your partner are with each other, your behavior towards each other, and your alignment with each other. When you are truly aligned, you have most likely found true love.
Spending quality time together is one of the best ways of building the evidence on both a conscious, and unconscious level, about how well you align in life and mindset. Whether you spend time together in person, or virtually by messaging or video dating, is another matter. Video dating can be very good where long distance relationships are involved, though being there with each other in person yields a different perception of the energetic connection that you share with each other.
Psychology Of True Love In A Healthy Relationship
Love, as with happiness, is an emotion.
While most people feel emotions, very few understand what actually causes those feelings to arise, aside from knowing that they come either as a positive or negative response to something in their environment.
Emotions come from a point of logic.
While most people know the mathematics they were taught in school, they rarely understand that their entire mindset is built on vast complicated algorithms. Each algorithm being comprised of a huge number of variables.
Everyone has an algorithm for love, especially true love.
Attraction to someone, and the experience of true love, on a psychological level, comes down to that algorithm sitting deep inside your unconscious mind.
Each point on that psychological checklist comes with a weighting, or magnitude. Somethings are more important than others, for example while most people want to be told “I love you” by their partner, for some people physical contact is more important, while for their partner it could be that they want them to do things for them in order to feel loved. Understanding the 5 languages of love, and how you each place importance on them, can be very valuable knowledge for building a healthy relationship.
Different people value things differently, and those things can change with experience too.
How Self Love And Self Confidence Are Essential For Finding True Love
A further element that’s important to finding true love, is a person’s level of self love and self confidence.
When there is a lack of these things, finding your ideal life partner can become very challenging.
Unless you truly love yourself, it can be very difficult for others to love you too.
Equally well, insecurity around feeling loved can be very off putting, to the point of becoming challenging, and even overwhelming, for some people.
When a person has healthy self love, it becomes easy for them to understand that others can, and do, love them too. Again, this usually happens on an unconscious level. Understanding of self love, self esteem, self worth, and self confidence form sections of that incredibly in-depth algorithm within the unconscious mind, which yields simplified understanding of love in terms of emotional feedback which is far easier for people to interpret than a massive list of checkpoints which can rise to the point of being too many to track consciously.
This is one of the reasons that is extremely wise to get help from a good coach to move on from a relationship, and equally to use quality coaching to prepare for a relationship when you are seeking your true love.
Very few people are aware of the issues lurking in their unconscious. How limiting beliefs are holding them back. Or, how previous experiences have altered their values in such a way as to make achieving their dreams for life and love almost impossible.
Cleaning up your mindset. Letting go of the past, and of limitations. So you can love yourself properly. Is vital for anyone wanting to find true love.
How Personal Growth Helps You Experience True Love More Easily
Personal growth often opens up routes to greater compassion and respect, which are important to the expression and feeling of true love.
Personal growth also brings about deeper understanding of the self, often with a reassessment of what’s important in life and relationships. As such opening opportunity for greater happiness too.
Something else which often happens when people are going through personal development is an increase in their awareness. Things they may have overlooked due to other elements of attraction previously, become more obvious signs of challenge. Thus enabling them to side step people who would have been poor matches for them in reality.
Doing courses in things like neuro linguistic programming can improve communication in relationships too. Thus helping open more opportunity for love to come easily.
One potential issue with self development can be how it can result in people ‘outgrowing’ their partners. Personal development does lead to changes in values and beliefs, which can cause people to feel very differently towards each other as a result. Change your values and you do change how you align with other people.
Doing personal development, and undergoing self growth, while you are single, in preparation for finding true love, can be a very good thing to do. Become who you wish to be, and your ideal life partner will gravitate to you far more easily.
Personal growth can open the heart and mind to the reality that true love exists, as well as enabling it to flow to you more easily too.
Changing Yourself To Make Your Partner Happy
Sometimes, in the pursuit of true love, people will change themselves to make their partner happy. This can come in a come of ways, when someone thinks their partner wants something different and they want to be that type of person. Or, when the partner is telling them that they have to change, and be different in certain ways.
These types of change have various issues associated with them.
While it may seem easy in the short term, and things shift towards harmony. Challenges come in the longer term.
Something which often comes as a prelude to the breakup of a long term relationship, is one partner feeling that they are not themselves, and that they have lost sight of who they really are. As a result, they have become deeply unhappy.
Changing for someone else brings that potential result as an inherent danger.
It is one of the reasons why good coaches never work with clients who are seeking change because someone else wants that change.
Quality results, with happiness being an important one, comes from life change and mindset change that are driven by personal desire to be a certain way, rather than wanting to please someone else.
If you feel you have to change in order to make your partner, or potential partner, happy, then reevaluating that relationship could be wise. Likely there is someone better for you, who will accept you for who you are, and love you as you are.
True love never requires people to change who they are.
Getting rid of an addiction, of whatever type, could be a healthy thing. However, if you are happy as you are, consider your choice of partner carefully.
Psychology Of True Love For A Viable Long Distance Relationship
True love can work well in long distance relationships.
While most people do feel close proximity to be a necessity, that feeling is usually driven by desire for physical proximity, being able to hold and touch their partner. Or to be held and touched by them.
Depending on how couples relate with each other via the 5 love languages, close proximity may be a requirement. Equally well, when couples find that the physical side of things is less important than words spoken, or potentially gifts, or acts of service, then long distance can work well too.
Most couples, regardless of their desire to connect physically, can handle long distances for certain periods of time.
When distance is involved, depth of feeling becomes very important.
True Love Trumps Distance
When couples truly love each other, they can endure great hardship with relative ease. When couples know that the end result of what they’re doing is going to be a certain thing, and they view that as worth it, then being on opposite sides of the world can work. For a time at least.
Many military couples endure long periods apart, 3, 6 or more months apart at times. At times with minimal contact by phone even.
What keeps couples going in these situations, is trust and commitment. They know that they can keep complete faith in each other, and they really do share true love together.
So the psychology for relationships where long distances are involved, comes down to keeping faith in each other. It is a mindset thing, and one of the reasons it’s wise to clean out your mindset of all previous heartbreak, limiting beliefs, and get your self love and self esteem sorted out before even going into a relationship. Doing so helps you build a healthier relationship, it also helps you if distance becomes an issue at any point.
Knowing that your partner does truly love you, that you can trust them, and that things will be good, all comes from what goes on within your own mindset.
Marriage Agency Experts On Love And Developing Relationships
There are many things that are important for developing relationships.
Some of these things, from the perspective of a marriage agency that has seen many couples form successful marriages over the years, plus from coaching experience with helping people sort out their relationships, include:
- Setting and then respecting each other’s boundaries.
- Ensuring you give and receive affection regularly.
- Support each other on a daily basis in all things.
- Share and talk about your feelings as needed.
- Have a date night or a date day on a weekly basis.
- Enjoy each other’s company whenever you can.
- Do things to look after each other’s well being.
- Say “I love you” and mean it
Whilst saying “I love you” sounds great, and might seem like the most important thing to some people, it is actually less important than supporting your partner.
When partner’s feel unsupported, they will only tolerate it so long before moving on. even if their partner regularly says “I love you.”
By contrast, someone may never actually hear the specific words “I love you” from their partner, yet because they’re constantly being supported, helped, looked after, they know deep down without being told, that they are truly loved.
In part this is dependent on their predominant love language, and how their mindset processes information and signals about being loved. It is very much perception based. Hence why knowing your primary and secondary love languages, as well as those of your partner, is so important.
Communication, Values Alignment And Shared Beliefs
These three things bring about harmony in the biggest way for all relationships.
When couples communicate well, then issues can be resolved easily, plus they know what each other are thinking and feeling.
When couples have well aligned values and shared beliefs, then they naturally feel the same way about things, and their behavior aligns naturally together. They end up with fewer negotiations, and a happier flowing life together.
During professional matchmaking, and bringing together couples through marriage agency work, these three things are seen as the core foundation for every loving relationship. Assessing them and knowing they are present before even doing the introductions, or Omiai as they’re known in Japan, that is a huge part of the challenge for professional matchmakers.
Essentially, matchmakers need to see that special bond exists, before couples even meet for the first date. It does mean that really good matchmakers can see true love exist almost like a second sight, or with a sixth sense.
Love Facts Psychology
True love grows based on certain aspects of mindset, perception and interaction between couples.
With each person being an autonomous individual, there is always scope for change, be that convergent or divergent. Some events and experiences, be they had together or apart, can lead to an increase in happiness or a loss of respect between the two.
Knowing and understanding how mindset and psychology affect perception of love, can as a result be very empowering for any couple wishing for a happier and stronger relationship.
Equally well, there are some much stated things about what should or should not be important to people, and how they behave, that are realistically unhelpful at best, or completely irrelevant at times.
The Importance Of Physical Attraction For Truly Loving Relationships
There are many forms of physical attraction. Some people love a certain shape to legs, a particular muscularity, long or short hair, a style of nose, or various other things.
While lots of people say “looks are unimportant.” Or that people are shallow if they’re seeking a good looking partner.
Physical attraction does matter for a healthy relationship.
When people are physically attracted to others, then their relationship foundations weaken.
When people are truly attracted to each other, mind, body and spirit, then their relationship will grow strong.
While looks can fade over time, body shapes can alter due to changing circumstances in life, successful couples continue to find each other attractive well into their old age.
People are biological entities, and physical attraction is part of nature. It is their to bring people together, so that they can find their ideal life partner with relative ease.
Looks are what generally serve as providing that initial impetus and inspiration, to actually start getting to know each other, and begin the process of building a relationship. While it’s the personality and mindset that make your relationship work long term, it’s that physical attraction that sparks everything. Plus it can help in times of challenge, when partners feel their relationship is strained, having that level of physical attraction to your partner, can help you stay together and work through challenges.
Of course, there are times when some people are wired differently.
Sapiosexuality
As such, some people find that attraction comes from listening to what a person has to say. This is relatively rare though.
How Love Languages Impact On Perception Of Love
It is completely possible for two people to completely love each other, yet have zero comprehension of the fact that the other feels the same as them. All of which is down to how they communicate about love, and understand that they are loved.
This is where the work of Gary Chapman and his book “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate” can be very important to building a loving and healthy relationship.
What Are The 5 Languages Of Love?
- Acts of service
- Gifts
- Physical touch
- Quality time
- Words of affirmation
Getting to know your preference, and how your partner perceives your love, can help you to build true love together in a way which will endure long term.
Adapt With Your Knowledge Of Your Love Language Preferences
Another point which is important, is that by modifying to show love in a way you partner understands best, will have them view you as a better person, without you really creating any personal change. This is one great example of where a small mindset change and behavioral shift can bring incredible happiness and positive results for both you and your other half.
Knowing and working with the five languages of love effectively can help you find true love, and hold on to it more easily with the right person.
So take time, learn the five languages of love, and consider carefully how you interact together. It will help build a deeper emotional connection, whether while spending quality time together, holding hands, or doing other things in each other’s company, or while apart.
What Is True Love Best Answer
True love means that you love each other in an unconditional way. True love grows when you respect and honor each other, support each other, talk and communicate freely, without judgement of each other, and do things to increase your happiness together. True love takes energy and commitment within every relationship.
How Challenging Is It To Find True Love?
Many people ask friends or family about whether true love exists, or not. Usually based on their own experience when searching for it. One challenge being that many will color their own answers based on their ability, or inability, to find true love themselves.
Sometimes it’s best to ask another person entirely.
Ask professional matchmakers, or those working in a good marriage agency, people who see proof that true love exists on a regular basis, and you will get a far more reliable answer.
The biggest challenge with finding true love is being in the right dating pool. Being among those who want the same from life that you do. People that share your values, your beliefs, and who want to be with a committed partner.
Providing you are in the right dating pool, then you can find true love relatively easily.
When Is It Worth Getting Professional Help To Find True Love?
When you are looking for true love, and have been hitting blocks, whether meeting the wrong people, failing to meet people due to being an introvert or limited social opportunities, or just feel you would find true love more easily with the right support, then getting professional help is wise.
As a marker, successful clients that finally found true love having decided to work with matchmakers and a good marriage agency, on average were members of Marriage Matching for 221 days from the point of registration to the time of announcing marriage and finishing.
Most women and men who are seeking marriage with their true love, do find that the search is both quicker and easier, with support. Plus they find a better person than they ever could have before, with whom they really do form a true relationship.
The time to get support in finding true love from a matchmaker or a good marriage agency, is when you have decided that the time is right, and that you have had enough of waiting for your true love to arrive in your life.