How To Have A Healthy Relationship
A healthy relationship is a beautiful thing. When there’s harmony within a romantic relationship, life seems easy, regardless of what’s going on.
The challenge is that few people actually understand how to actually have a healthy relationship. Many partners just go with the flow, letting things unfold as they go, without understanding what things they can do, which would actually keep them both emotionally fulfilled, and a strong sense of love flourishing between them.
The good news is, it’s relatively easy to keep romantic relationships in good health, providing you follow some very simple, yet effective advice.
How To Build And Maintain A Healthy Relationship
What’s A Healthy Relationship?
A healthy relationship means one where both partners have faith in each other, are at ease with each other, and are in harmony together. Essentially, they’re on the same page in terms of values and beliefs, free from anything causing stress within their relationship.
What Constitutes A Healthy Relationship
Having a healthy relationship, also known as a strong relationship, means communicating with each other properly. There’s equality between partners in everything, and they spend time together happily.
Partners care for and support each other naturally, and by choice. They regularly enjoy time together, whether on date night at a favorite restaurant, doing a common hobby together, or even just relaxing at home with a movie. There’s harmony.
What Constitutes An Unhealthy Relationship
In an unhealthy relationship, one partner will often prioritize what they want over what their other half would like. This can come in various ways, some in unhealthy relationships seek physical or emotional gratification outside of the relationship, i.e. with other people. Some push partners into only doing what they want when they spend time together, belittling their partner’s needs and desires in favor of their own. This can range further out to narcissistic and other abusive behaviors, one person putting their partner down and utilizing controlling behavior, power imbalance, in order to have things exactly as they want them. Instances of domestic violence are very clear indications of unhealthy relationships, regardless of who initiates violence.
As with all abusive behaviors, domestic violence should never be tolerated. People very rarely change, unless they have exceptional motivation due to an event which brings a mindset shift. If you are ever on the receiving end of domestic violence, stop being afraid, leave, go somewhere safe, contact the authorities, start fresh. Ideally get coaching or counselling from a good mental health professional, in order to deal with and go beyond any mindset issues that have arisen as a result.
What Does Healthy Relationship Mean In Practice?
In practice healthy relationships require work. Healthy couples clear the air using open communication when things happen. Doing things to reduce stress, never assigning blame to one partner. Anything that happens in relationships is a result of both partners, never one. As such, if something fails to go as planned, both partners need to understand how their own actions brought about that outcome, putting themselves at cause rather than at effect.
Healthy relationships mean scheduling quality time with each other, and ensuring they each communicate openly about things which are important to them. Never assuming your partner’s a mind reader is important too. Never assume they know something, unless you’ve told them clearly and directly, and had their definite acknowledgement of it.
Signs Of A Healthy Relationship
One of the biggest issues with mindset when it comes to issues with attracting partners is that of self esteem.
There are a few common signs of healthy relationships, they are:
- Partners are devoted and faithful to each other
- There is good communication in all things with each other
- Romance is alive and nurtured each each partner
- Quality time is regular and looked forward to
- Showing appreciation of each other is frequent
- Feelings are shared and handled positively
- Boundaries are set, respected and kept to
- Each partner is respectful of the other
- Avoid blaming each other for things
How Common Are Healthy Relationships?
100% healthy relationships are relatively uncommon.
In practice many people feel the stresses of life, though rather than dealing with them effectively, bottle them up, and end up with the cumulative effects of different stresses spilling over into their relationships. Thus reducing the healthiness of feelings between them.
Likewise, many feel unable to communicate openly, and hide things as a result.
Sometimes this is due to a mismatch in partners, who stay together because they feel they can do no better. Often, practicing more self love, building up self esteem, establishing more confidence, and building trust can seriously benefit towards establishing a more healthy relationship. If needed, visiting a couples therapist, or talking to a good coach, can provide benefit too, as often mindset is at the core of issues that are causing challenges.
How To Keep Your Future Or Current Relationship Healthy The 5 Key Things
There are five certain characteristics which can catapult forward how healthy relationships are. When you have these present, it’s a good sign for you, and having a happy lifetime together.
Healthy Behaviors That Can Bring About A Healthier Relationship:
Tough Times, Compatibility And Options
If any key characteristic is missing, you can work on it. If your partner has anger control issues, refuses to solve problems together, or blocks new solutions to issues, moving on could be healthier than staying. When a relationship ends, it can bring better opportunity, for self healing, and love.
Financial and health problems can be overcome, when you work with one another.
Communication, Communication, Communication
Success with almost everything in life is dependent how well people communicate. When information flows, people talk openly, actively listen to one another, and feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings, then things can be good.
When things are bottled up, or people assign blame, things get unhealthy.
It’s only by communicating that others know what we’re thinking and feeling, and how we can know what others think and feel. You might think you know what your partner is thinking and feeling, yet unless you hear it from them, openly and honestly, you’re merely guessing. Even if it’s an educated guess based on experience and knowledge of them.
Getting into the habit of sharing thoughts, talking openly about feelings, in an atmosphere free from judgment, really helps to make relationships healthier. This holds true for both face to face and digital communication.
Something worth understanding, if you’re motivated to build the healthiest relationship possible is about improving relationships with Neuro Linguistic Programming. Neuro Linguistic Programming opens up a capacity to communicate in a far deeper way, with better understanding of how the actual words a person is using, their tone of voice, and their body language, all come together and how some words conflict with the message being sent. It can open up opportunity for partners for far better clarity when communicating.
Allowing Space When Needed
There’re times when stress gets too much for people, with anger, sadness, fear or hurt getting too much. A partner may decide they need time out to process. This is different from going on a break. Taking time out to actively process emotions, dealing with them and associated thoughts can be extremely good for your health, in multiple ways.
From a mindset and coaching perspective, negative emotion is there to highlight something in the environment that’s unhealthy, and avoided in future. Negative emotion should never be stored long term, it’s toxic, and causes big problems for those who store it up. There’ve been various health studies that reference the impact of holding on to negative emotion long term, and physical health issues that result. Equally well, unless negative emotions and unpleasant events are dealt with properly, with learning coming from them and being acted on, then limiting decisions and limiting beliefs can manifest in the mindset, causing other life challenges.
When someone needs space, honor that boundary. If you run over it, especially repeatedly, you’re only causing further upset, damaging the relationship, often creating further conflict and potentially pushing things to the point of break up. Regardless of what happened, when a person needs time to process, let them have it. It can be far more effective at bringing peace back than organizing your partner’s favorite meal, and trying to win them round.
Difficult conversations and apologies can come later, if needed, after processing has occurred. They’ll likely be more heartfelt, and productive as a result too.
Keeping Healthy Boundaries
Everyone has things which are, or aren’t, acceptable to them. Things like being called, or expecting messages, while they’re at work, being one example. Unless partners know what their partner is and isn’t OK with in a relationship, then stress can come all too easily.
Healthy Boundaries Are Vital For Any Relationship To Be, And Remain, In Good Health.
Knowing what you’re happy with and unhappy with is one thing, having your other half understand it, and observe it, is another. Boundaries must be communicated so they are clear, with acceptance coming after understanding. Any new relationship should have time early on when you set boundaries with your partner, unless you do, you’re leaving the door open for great discomfort later, your partner could have kept you happy if they had known. Likewise, if you have been together long term, yet never set boundaries, then it would be wise to do so, especially if things are unhealthy in your relationship and you wish to save it.
The Simple Rule About Breaching Boundaries
There is a simple rule when it comes to breaching boundaries.
If a person breaches a boundary once, these things happen, just remind them, zero fuss.
If they breach that boundary again, shame on them, remind them firmly, yet remain calm and pleasant when doing so. Let them know it has happened twice, and it’s unacceptable behavior.
If it happens a third time, shame on you. At this point it is essentially becoming abusive behavior, and while you could choose to wait around and see if they change, they likely will not. It is time to leave.
In healthy relationships, partners observe and stick to each others healthy boundaries.
Mutual Respect
Mutual respect means honoring and valuing each other equally. Offer support, then yield it, to each other, in a balanced, caring way.
Without this type of respect a relationship can never achieve balance or be strong. It is only when partners have mutual respect, equally, that they can have a healthy relationship.
This merges with boundaries, fidelity and many other things. When one partner has outside relationships, extra marital affairs, other relationships etc., they generally have little respect for their partner, or for the relationship they have with them. People who cheat rarely change, unless they find a partner to whom they wish to commit completely. Cheaters may have a level of regard for a partner, liking certain things about them, they lack complete respectfulness though. Equally well, anyone who has every been cheated on knows only too well how challenging it is to respect a cheater. Generally once it’s gone, it’s gone.
Equally well, when one person is completely faithful, yet their partner accuses them of cheating, and doing other things, especially on a routine basis, that person will eventually feel hugely disrespected and likely end things.
In healthy relationships partners are completely respectful of each other, and honor each other accordingly.
Intimacy
Use of birth control only impacts intimacy when its use, or lack of use, upsets one or either partner. It is completely possible to have a flourishing sexual relationship whatever type of birth control is being used, including when none is used.
Good self confidence from both partners in a relationship increases the emotional connection and good feeling that comes from physical intimacy. Sex and sexual activity are just one aspect of intimacy. Intimacy can be non-physical.
It’s quite possible, and appropriate, to have non-physical intimacy, especially during early stages of a relationship, before one or either partner feels serious enough to become more physical. Even before a first kiss, partners do well to increase their level of mental and emotional connection, potentially their spiritual connection too.
Long term relationships need more than just physical love. Without intimacy on mental and emotional levels then the relationship will likely dissipate over time, with one or both partners becoming bored.
When there’s a deep, intimate connection between partners, all those different life challenges tend to dissipate, and things naturally flow more easily. It’s one of the things that makes a great relationship.
Spending time together, regular eye contact, public displays of affection all help build deeper intimacy. While not everyone’s comfortable with publicly showing affection, there are different levels that can be enjoyed holding hands, hugging, kissing, putting your arm around your partner, a happy level can be found. Intimacy comes from sharing thoughts and feelings, as well as physical contact.
Realistically, true intimacy is achieved before physical contact in good relationships.
Some say it’s good to avoid conflict, which in a sense it true. Though never just brush things under the carpet. Talk about things in a respectful way, use I statements to help reduce tension, remove blame from the equation, focus your effort on problem solving and achieving resolution together. People are rarely ‘wrong’, even if they have very different points of view. Being honest does a lot to deepen relationships, and improve intimacy.
Getting Your Mindset Right So The Motivation To Keep Your Relationship Healthy Is Easy
Good relationships are harmonious, and have multiple good health points as mentioned above, with each partner sharing the same standards and ideally the same interests too. All of which can take a while to find, plus a good deal of work to maintain.
Dating Mindset And Relationship Mindset
Being in the right dating mindset helps you attract the right partner, from then on it takes the right relationship mindset to keep everything harmonious with one another.
While having support from friends and family is good, you must stay open and honest with each other within your own relationship. Listen to one another, communicate effectively, support each other, especially if there’s potential for conflict due to work or something else. Even an ideal partner may leave if they feel neglected, or when they feel values or beliefs have shifted out of alignment. It take focus to keep everything harmonious, sometimes new behaviors or additional external support can be exactly what’s needed, they can make your relationship healthier.
Mindset, Meditation, Mindfulness And Coaching
Meditating and being mindful are hugely beneficial when it comes to overcoming challenge and achieving greater stability. They help with calm too. All of which help remove stress from relationships, leaving you and your partner feeling better, thus aiding stability.
Clearing out limiting beliefs and old emotion though are key things when building a good quality of life your ideal life partner, and then keeping things stable once you’re with them. If you’re unable to do this yourself, then seeking professional help from a good coach or therapist is wise.