Much of a healthy relationship comes down to being with the right person, because with the right person, things naturally fit together, and harmony flows through everything.
Harmony Is Vital For An Emotionally Healthy Relationship
Essentially, the more often you are on the same page with each other, and in agreement, in a way that is good for both of you, the more you will feel that within your relationship strong harmony exists. It is that ongoing harmony that characterizes healthy relationships, and there are some key ways to ensure that it is present for you.
- A Good Relationship Is A Healthy Relationship
- Romantic Relationships Are Usually Easy At First
- 3 Early Signs Of A Good Relationship
- Building A Romantic Relationship Into A Committed Relationship
- How To Keep A Relationship Strong And Happy
- 10 Characteristics Of A Good Relationship
- 5 Ways To Improve The Quality Of Your Relationship
- Maintaining A Healthy Relationship Long Term
A Good Relationship Is A Healthy Relationship
In order to be good for both partners, it has to be healthy. This is something needed from the outset, and vital for a happy, rewarding long term committed relationship.
Every strong relationship has its roots in good foundations, with both partners feeling valued by each other. Hence why good professional matchmakers look to create a relationship strong from its foundations up, when they are bringing people together, with mental calculations being done in terms of expected outcomes, prior to any introductions, Omiai, taking place.
Healthy Relationships Mean Both Partners Have Equitable Relationship Satisfaction
A good relationship is a healthy, balanced one.
If something is unbalanced, it will after a period of time either break or fall apart. Whether it be a bicycle wheel, a truck or a relationship is immaterial, for things to remain working effectively, they have to be in balance.
For those in relationships this means that each person’s level of satisfaction with how they are together has to be equitable. When one person is unhappy, it is only so long before things will break down. Granted, life can be challenging, and couples need to work together to smooth through bumps in the road. The bigger issue is when things are stable, yet one person is unhappy, with the other either not caring, or unaware, that action is needed.
When both partners are satisfied, or should I say happy, with each other, the relationship is generally good, and has the opportunity to build. There are a few simple things which are important, and they are what follow for those interested in building good relationships.
7 Qualities Of A Healthy Relationship Checklist
While there are 10 core things that are important when choosing a life partner, there are 7 qualities crucial for a good relationship that’s healthy.
These things are:
- Shared Values
- Good Communication
- Shared Vision For The Future
- Actively Showing And Receiving Love
- Mutual Attraction Physically And Psychologically
- Mutual Respect And Compassion
- Mutual Commitment
These are all important, there is no specific order. When any of these things are missing, challenges will follow.
That said, people do change at times. In reality people undergo micro changes in mindset on a daily basis, based on conversations, experiences they have, things they see and read. Sometimes those changes are more macro, with values systems going through complete upheaval. When changes happen, it is good to honor them, be compassionate and give your partner time to adjust.
When couples have a strong relationship, partners will generally return to a point of harmony, compassion helps keep rapport high, and the love alive. So remember, be kind to each other, and allow time for adjustment as needed. Of course, when adjustment and harmony have been absent for a long time, conversations and decisions are needed for the good of both people.
Romantic Relationships Are Usually Easy At First
Most people have experienced that rush in the early stages of a romantic relationship.
Everything feels alive.
Excitement is often high when relationships start, opportunity feels good, and there is much yet to be discovered about each other. The journey has just begun, and a spirit of adventure runs through with positive thoughts about where things will go.
Many get pulled, by choice, into imagining and visualizing their dreams coming true. Which is a good thing.
Keeping positive about your future, and what will happen with your partner is vital for a healthy dating mindset. As time draws on, and more is discovered about compatibility, with different learning about each other, idiosyncrasies come out, more evidence comes through as to how truly compatible you are beyond the initial attraction stages.
Going on pure attraction can be fun. That sense of being alive and just having fun can feel intoxicating.
For any relationship to be truly fulfilling, it has to stand the test of time. Hence why there are various criteria which are important, beyond the simple points of initial attraction.
3 Early Signs Of A Good Relationship
When you are seriously looking for something long term, there are a few very simple things to keep an eye out for early on in any romantic relationship.
Desire To Spend Time Together
This may seem obvious, it is important though.
When there is a differential, with differing amounts of time together desired, then harmony is going to be challenging. When there is a natural agreement on wanting to spend the same amount of time together, then a vital point of harmony has been achieved. When one person needs more together time than the other wishes to give, harmony will be challenging.
It could change in time. It might be possible to win someone around. Never count on that though. It would be better to find someone you naturally harmonize with.
Committing Without Question
If someone is still checking options, and thinking about others, then they’re unlikely to be happy with one of those people in the long run.
When people have serious attraction, they lose all thoughts of others. Instinctively they know committing is right.
The hard reality is, when people lack commitment in relationships, then they erode chances of things working out. The more erosion occurs, the less likely things are that it will hold together. People will only take infidelity and unfaithfulness for so long before they give up and move on.
For anyone wanting a romance to work out, commitment is essential. When two people naturally commit to each other, without having to talk about, or negotiate it, then that’s a good sign for what’s possible together.
Mutual Flowing Communication
Communication is one of the top 3 most important factors for relationship success.
While communication skills, being understood easily, are important, a natural harmony in communicative frequency is also important.
A level of understanding is needed where things like work are involved. That said, smooth, flowing communication when you’re both available to communicate is important.
For healthy couples, there is a natural equilibrium which is usually achieved fairly quickly.
When one person feels there is too little, or too much, communication, it can be foreboding. When people want to communicate at different levels of frequency, harmony will be absent.
Getting that equilibrium in terms of mutually happiness with communicative frequency is a key sign for potential success.
Building A Romantic Relationship Into A Committed Relationship
While romantic relationships are often fun, and highly stimulating in the early phases, they can wane in terms of excitement as time goes on. As different aspects of personalities and people’s mindsets become revealed, relationships and feelings often changed. That said, when a romance transitions into a long term commitment the rewards do become greater.
You and your partner are committed to each other, there is a deeper level of emotional connection that comes through. In many ways it is like you have been confined to shallow breathing, and suddenly discover that you can breathe deeply. It is very different, and something to be celebrated. Hence why weddings and marriage are times of great celebration, those relationships have the two partners moving into a far deeper state of enjoyment of life.
One of the core things with building a marriage, or other type of deep commitment, is being of one mind with each other. It is that unison of thinking and feeling which signifies the deepest level of fulfillment for couples.
Being On The Same Page How To Build A Good Relationship With Your Partner
Whenever people see someone at peak performance, in sports or otherwise, it generally brings admiration for what they have done to get there.
When you see teams, including pairs, who have trained hard, and moved to a point of coordination it brings even greater admiration.
The reason for this is that thinking in unison, acting as one together, takes incredible harmony, which on top of everything else being trained for and done, takes a huge amount of effort and coordination.
Marriage, commitment, and successful long term partnerships, requires unification of thinking and action in order to be harmonious and successful. When two people are off doing different things, that type of unison becomes challenging. It requires an incredible level of compatibility, and work to keep on track, for most people that is.
Granted, there are some for whom they fall completely into sync with the first person they meet, go on to marry and build a life together.
While that’s the ideal, other people need to work at things, and communicate. Hence why communicating is one of the top 3 most important things for relationship success, and healthy relationships.
Get that unified thinking with your partner and you are getting on track for a very happy life together.
How To Keep A Relationship Strong And Happy
While a healthy sex life is commonly cited as important in many western cultures, it is less important than most think in terms of keeping relationships healthy.
Of course, if an active sex life is important to someone, then in terms of being in sync with a partner for long term success, then finding a partner who values it equally is important. This effectively relates to having shared values. It is the mutually shared values which are important rather than the subject of those values.
In much the same way, if one person loves being active, and the other wants to be sedentary and just watch TV, then they are unlikely to be compatible. Equally well, two people may love to travel, though if one wants to fly and the other wants to drive, then incompatibility comes up due to how their values translate.
For a relationship to stay strong and happy, there has to be unity with values.
Going out and enjoying a partner’s favorite meal is nice, it is a very surface level, almost cosmetic thing though. There needs to be a deeper unity between couples of relationships to stay strong.
Create Harmony Avoid Conflict And Ensure Both People Feel Valued
When one partner feels bad because the other is always assigning blame to them for problems that come up, harmony will disappear, with breakdown following.
Both people must feel valued, loved, cared for by each other to make the relationship healthy, and viable.
To create a healthy relationship you need to talk to your partner and resolve challenges. Stay away from assigning blame. The reality is that you are both responsible for situations that arise, that includes any issues of infidelity and seeking other relationships for whatever reason. When people are in unison, together in harmony, commitment is easy.
One of the core things people learn through neuro linguistic programming is that they can either be at cause or effect. When you are at effect, the victim mentality comes out and blaming others is common, it also puts solutions to challenges as external, i.e. needing others to sort them out.
By putting yourself at cause, and taking responsibility for things, everything, challenges are internalize and you therefore have all the solutions internally too. Hence, challenges can be overcome with far greater ease. Thus bringing harmony more often, and creating greater stability and rapport for loving couples who truly want a good healthy relationship.
10 Characteristics Of A Good Relationship
The ten characteristics of a good relationship, are the same that are used to find the right life partner, as specified in the blog post how to choose a life partner 10 core marriage partner checkpoints.
For A Healthy Relationship:
- You Share Passions Or Hobbies
- You Share The Same Vision For The Future
- Shared Values And You Can Adapt Together
- You Share Compassion And Forgiveness
- You Show And Feel Love In The Same Way
- You Feel Attraction Mutually Long Term
- You Both Have Good Communication Skills
- You Enjoy Mutual Commitment
- You Have Mutual Respect With Each Other
- You Have Mutual Stability With
The best results come when all of these things are checked off, though it is still possible to have a healthy relationship if some are missing. The more that are missing, the more challenging the relationship will be. When you have unity in all these things, you can enjoy a very harmonious relationship, which will be incredibly fulfilling.
Communication, shared values, plus compassion and forgiveness tend to be the three core things that are essential for a relationship to work. Without them, things fall apart fairly quickly. Hence why, when searching for the right life partner, it’s best to find someone who does fulfill all these things, as they will be your ideal partner.
Talking To Each Other Openly And Clearly
Talking is incredibly important for every couple and relationship.
Communication is one of the top three most important things for a healthy relationship, with talking being just one part of how you communicate with each other.
From the NLP communication model, the actual words used are only 7% of how we communicate, 55% is body language, or physiology, and the remaining 38% comes from tone of voice.
Essentially you can say “thank you” or “I love you” in countless ways, some of which will be taken as genuine, others could be deemed sarcastic or even insulting depending on the tone of voice and body language use when the words themselves are said.
It is very important to calibrate on each other, and elevate your ability to communicate to the highest level, so that you can be completely clear, and always understood. As soon as there is misunderstanding, challenges do arise.
Hence one of the reasons it’s worth learning about improving relationships with neuro linguistic programming. Having that enhanced versatility, and improved ability to create understanding elevates relationships to far higher levels, while also nurturing deeper connections for couples.
Doing Activities Which Involve Building Trust
Having support from your partner is core for relationship success.
Trust can take time to build, yet it can disappear very quickly. Lack of honest behavior, inability to listen effectively, failed expectations, all erode the level of trust and support that are perceived in a relationship.
People build trust in different ways. Learning how you can count on your partner, understanding them deeply, is how trust is built. It is possible to have differing views on things, and still trust each other. People like different types of food, drinks, colors, music, movies, and so much more, yet still trust each other. Of course, there are certain things that cause issues, though that is more to do with alignment of values.
Showing Appreciation To Each Other Regularly
Being appreciative of each other is crucial to relationship quality.
In the age of digital communication it is also easier to do on a regular basis. Naturally, giving thanks and showing appreciation in person is the ideal. Even a quick message while getting a coffee, or heading for lunch is good though, nothing long, just a quick line. Even just saying “thanks for sorting the laundry this morning” or “really appreciate your help getting breakfast today.” Or something else. Giving thanks for small things can make more of a difference than many people realize.
Never assume your partner’s a mind reader, give thanks and appreciation directly yourself, it makes a big difference.
Every committed partner needs to feel they’re valued, it keeps rapport going. While outside relationships cause big drops in perception of value and trust, a neglect of appreciation of what people do for each other can lead to difficult conversations and relationship breakdown too.
Show your partner you care and appreciate them in a way they understand. While some may understand through gifts, others just need words, or even a hug and “thank you for being you.”
Keep eye contact when saying things verbally, if you’re in the same room, it really deepens the connection and understanding.
Doing Things For Your Partner In A Balanced Way
When relationships are one sided they become deeply unhealthy.
Most relationships are out of balance, and people just deal with it, in different ways, though rarely healthily.
Creating a good balance between how you interact and what you do for each other takes commitment. It requires quality time devoted to the relationship by you and your partner. Getting it right does bring deeper feelings and keep the relationship healthy though.
Balance Is Important For Healthy Self Esteem Too
Keeping things balance also helps with the level of self love each person feels.
Without self love, relationships become challenging and breakdown. So fostering love of yourself, while also building and maintaining the relationship with your partner is important. Unless you love yourself, it becomes very challenging for someone else to love you. Loving yourself is a good thing, providing it is in balance too.
If you’re doing everything in your relationship, it’s unbalanced and your self esteem will likely reflect that.
Start talking. Tell your partner when you think things are unbalanced. Remove conflict when you communicate, assertions of who’s wrong, keep your focus on empowering your relationship for the good of you both. You may find a subtle rebalancing needed, your partner making changes to help with certain things, while you adapt to help them in other ways. Conversation on a regular basis is important for resolving conflict and potential conflict. Keep emotions, and stress, out when discussing these things. Show respect for each other. This helps you both maintain focus on improving things overall, and forging a healthier state of being with each other.
Increasing Psychological Intimacy
There is far more to intimacy than sex. Psychological intimacy does more for keeping a relationship healthy in the long term than a sex life, though to what level depends on values.
For a healthy relationship, being able to talk to your partner on date night is good, it only carries things so far though. Having quality time together in a favorite restaurant, just the two of you, away from friends and family, is beneficial. More effort would do you both good though. Regular interaction on deeper levels is needed.
Some close off to ‘protect’ their partner from things which are going on.
When people feel shut out, feelings of stress arise.
Even if you are shielding your partner from issues you face at work, they’ll pick up on your stress, and wonder what’s going on. Start talking to them more, sharing things as appropriate. They may need zero details, just a heads up that something is bothering you, so that they can feel at ease that together you are OK.
Stay Open And Honest In Your Behavior To Nurture Intimacy
When you’re in a partnership you need to remember that you cease being an individual to an extent. How you behave affects the relationship, honor that, and show respect.
Communicate about stress, emotions, and differences that come up, so you can deal with them together.
Create time away from the TV and other distractions to talk to your partner.
When dating, people spend a lot of time in conversation, getting to know each other. It is one of the things people generally love about dating. Understanding your partner’s mind, and them understanding yours. Keeping that going is healthy. Be open an honest with each other.
Maintain time regularly to talk about things, and support each other. It dramatically helps with rapport and intimacy. Which by extension helps to improve physical intimacy too. When people connect on a deeper level psychologically, then physical contact becomes more appreciated, and welcome too.
Maintaining A Healthy Relationship Long Term
For those who feel comfortable expressing public displays of affection, that’s great. For those who feel more reserved and prefer more privacy, that’s fine too.
Removing Conflict Helps Build A Healthy Relationship
The more you remove conflict from your relationship the better.
Never push your partner to do things that would result in uncomfortable feelings for them. Respect how they view the world, and build together. If you have vastly differing values, and differences regarding expectations, then building a healthy relationship will be a challenge. Being with a partner who shares your values, and world views, is far more likely to result in a healthy relationship than when opposites attract.