Holding back feelings is never a healthy situation to get into. Communication is one of the top three most vital things for a healthy relationship, and feelings need to be processed properly in order for the mind to remain healthy.

The general concern that causes most to hold back, or suppress, their feelings, is rejection. Most people are fearful that sharing their feelings will result in a negative reaction, which will cause them pain.

The reality is, that until feelings are shared, it is impossible to know how they will be received. This is very much a mindset issue, with issues around self love and self esteem often contributing to desires around keeping things hidden. There are a lot of challenges and issues that can arise from keeping things held in, with the secrecy often resulting in a level of toxicity both mentally and emotionally, which causes challenges across multiple relationships, as well as in your relationship with yourself. At times this can result in people becoming scared to fall in love, or getting to the point where they wonder “Will I find love again?

Communicating properly, being open and true to yourself and others, is usually the wisest thing possible.

When You Hold Back Feelings And Fail To Communicate You Hinder Personal Growth And A Healthy Relationship

What Does It Mean To Hold Back Feelings For Someone?

Relationship Quandary Can Form Around Of Mutual And Separate Interests

Holding back feelings for someone can be done in a couple of ways:

  • Suppressing communication and not telling someone how you feel
  • Suppressing acceptance within your own mind and not being honest internally

When you hold back from communicating your feelings with someone, through fear of their reaction or whatever, you create a blockage with that relationship. Essentially you are bringing dishonesty into the relationship and everything that goes with it, which can bring far greater problems.

When you suppress acceptance, blocking yourself from discovering what is possible with that person, you create denial. You block yourself from being who you really are, from establishing a healthy life and a healthy mindset.

Both of these things often result in people holding back their emotions.

What Does It Mean To Hold Back Emotions?

When a person holds back emotions, they are rejecting their true feelings, usually because they do not wish to deal with them. Suppressing emotion is usually done through avoidance, often quickly changing topic or activity in order to stop things from progressing, and to enable a lid to be placed on what was grow.

Pushing emotions down, and keeping them constrained causes various issues on a psychological level, often resulting in limiting decisions and beliefs being formed which then create other issues throughout life.

What Happens When You Suppress Your Feelings For Someone?

Notice Signs Of Your Own Lack Of Communication When You Feel Hurt
Suppressing feelings for someone, even for a short period of time, can be psychologically damaging.
The longer things are suppressed, the greater the psychological harm that can occur. In the short term, issues with stress often arise, due to the desire to keep a lid on things. As time goes on, issues with depression and anxiety become more frequent.

Holding feelings back, and pushing them down, takes energy and focus. It never really gets easier over time, people just get used to it more, and the process becomes more unconscious causing them to think about it less.

In scientific studies it has been shown that suppressing overt expression of feelings, as in withholding from direct communication, results in experiencing of less experience of positive emotion, while resulting in greater experiences of negative emotions. Scientists in Japan found correlating results in relation to use of facial expressions when processing emotions, with suppression again directly effecting the ability to experience positive emotions. Other studies indicate that even short term, specifically at the one week mark, ability to recall memory effectively is reduced in addition to reduced experience of positive emotions.

Even short term the effects have been shown to be negative from behavior of suppression, and from experience working with coaching clients the longer term effects have been seen to be highly detrimental. Specifically in light of the limiting decisions and beliefs which form, that block enjoyment and success in life. There are no known studies on the long term effects, this is largely due to rules regarding scientific ethics, whereby studies should never be undertaken where there is a belief that the study will cause harm to those participants. Thus making it very challenging to show quantitative evidence of effects, due to base understanding from psychologists and others that suppression is harmful, while qualitative evidence is available in non-study form from numerous coaches and psychologists.

This in mind, it can be said from experience with coaching clients, that suppressing feelings creates an internal struggle which gradually at first reduces a person’s ability to enjoy life. Over the longer term, personal growth becomes restricted if not halted or reversed, with instances of anxiety and depression increasing depending on the level and magnitude of suppression, through to the point of breakdown for some.

Suppressing your feelings is very bad for you. Though equally well, learning tact and healthy processing of emotions can be beneficial in multiple situations, especially on a social level.

What Happens When You Ignore Your Feelings For Someone?

When Narrow Minded People Block Your Own Individual Growth Separate

The effects of ignoring feelings for someone are a little different to what happens when you suppress them. Ignoring them does not involve denial, and largely revolves around removing focus from the feelings, and hoping they will go away.

Over time a number of things are possible. Firstly, which most people hope for, the feelings go away due to lack of interaction with them, i.e. with zero energy going into them they wither away. Secondly, they can sit doing nothing for a period of time, before the person involved gets hit by regret that they never acted on those feelings, i.e. missed chances and what could have been. There are infinite other possibilities, these are just the main two that people notice.

What also can happen, is that rapport with your unconscious mind can be lost. Something which can be very damaging to life and your ability to create success and happiness with anything in life.

Feelings come up for a reason, there is purpose to them, even if you’re consciously unaware of what those reasons and purposes are. By ignoring feelings there is an elevated risk that your unconscious mind will stop bringing things to your attention, based on its expectation that you will ignore those signals. When this happens, you essentially cut off important signals, restricting opportunity for positive outcomes, while increasing the chances of negative outcomes.

Ignoring feelings can be highly detrimental, especially when it happens repeatedly over time.

What You Should Do When You Have Been Holding Feelings Back

Direct Communication Is Can Be More Appropriate Than More Subtle Forms

It is essential for you own mental health that feelings are processed appropriately. When things are left to brew up, realistically it is your own complacency which is at fault. While low self esteem, or lack of self confidence, can be cited as a reason for saying nothing, the buck always stops with you. When relationships have problems, those problems hold joint responsibility, most often from a lack of communication. Communicating with your partner, or whomever you have been holding feelings back about, be they positive or negative feelings, is usually the best way to solve those problems. With a joint acceptance of responsibility most often being required. Complacency is as much to blame as things like one partner violating boundaries.

Communicate Feelings When Appropriate

Often, communicating your feelings with the person concerned is the wise thing to do, largely because it enables resolution of whatever issue is being faced. If you find yourself attracted, or have fallen in love, the only way you can know whether your feelings are reciprocated is to share them with that person. If they feel differently, you know for sure, leaving you able to process and move on effectively. When they share your feelings, then the chance exists for you to develop a healthy relationship together.

Process Feelings With A Coach Or Therapists When Communication Would Be Bad

Moving Forward When You Feel Hurt Is Easier With Coaching Help

There are certain situations when communicating your feelings would be bad, falling in love with someone who is married is rarely a good thing. Especially if they’re happily married when you meet them. Equally well, there are numerous professional situations where ethical challenges arise, workplace relationships are often fraught with challenges, while relationships between those in authority and their subordinates are completely banned in many fields, especially the military. Relationships between academic staff and their students are at best unethical, while outright improper in some institutions.

When it becomes impossible, or improper, to share your feelings, seek professional counseling and emotional support by talking with a therapist, or getting quality coaching, is extremely wise. As a note, you may not need a professional certified coach, there are many very good coaches that utilize neuro linguistic programming and similar techniques to help their clients overcome issues, yet have never certified with certain federations and other organizations. Take time talking with a coach or therapist before committing to an actual program with them.

One good advantage from getting coaching from a good coach, they can help you identify roadblocks to the goals and dreams you have, this goes beyond finding the root cause of current issues, and into individual growth that helps you leverage the law of attraction to get what you really want, in an appropriate way. This can include helping you become the person you want to attract, along with creating other successes that will elevate your fulfillment and enjoyment of life.

Dealing With Feelings When In A Relationship

Healthy relationships are healthy because of how the two partners involved prioritize, respect, work together and communicate with each other. When those elements are lost or absent, an unhealthy relationship ensues which over time can transition into being an abusive toxic relationship unless action to rectify the situation is taken effectively.

Codependent Relationships

A codependent relationship describes a state in which one partner believes they have to do everything for the other, or save them in some way. While the other partner builds their relationship identity around having that need fulfilled by the other. Essentially they become locked together in a very unhealthy state, where either both or one partner sacrifices their personal aspirations based on the other partner’s unhealthy way of being. This is a formation point for many dysfunctional relationships, essentially seeing each partner’s dreams and own happiness disappear based on what they believe the other needs.

There usually comes a breaking point when the psychological toll becomes too high, for one or both partners involved. People can only sacrifice, feel stuck, or ignore their own aspirations, for so long before breaking point is reached.

With good communication, and provided that base level compatibility exists, conversations can be had, with the help of a good relationship coach or therapist as necessary, that help establish healthy boundaries and get things on track for both partners to gain fulfillment and happiness within an interdependent relationship.

Dealing With An Unbalanced Partnership

While dominance in a relationship can be OK in certain circumstances, there are situations where it becomes inappropriate. Where one person actively wants the other to take the lead, it can be OK. When there’s one partner exerting undue power, where they place unrealistic demands, exhibit irresponsible behavior themselves though expect strictness from the other, continually overrunning their partner’s personal boundaries, or takes excessive control in other ways

When you feel you have a narrow minded partner, or that your partner’s expectations are holding you back from happiness and fulfillment, it is likely time for a forthright conversation with them. Depending on how well you communicate, your level of self esteem and self confidence, getting professional help to overcome challenges may be wise.

Getting Relationship Coaching To Help Overcome Challenges

Whatever the state of your current relationship, whether you’re constantly accommodating your partner’s wild dreams or emotionally detached nature, provided you’re both willing to make changes as the basis of love and compatibility exists, then relationship coaching can help.

People fall prey to various challenges in life, at times dealing with them very poorly, though unknowing of better ways to handle the situations due to lack of knowledge or training. With the right perspective, and techniques, two partners who have long ago started diverging, can reunite in a healthy partnership.

A healthy relationship features:
  • Love
  • Respect
  • Compassion
  • Good communication
  • Shared values
  • Honesty

It is completely possible to go from unsatisfying to mutually satisfying, and from there across different stages and states into having a great relationship. It just requires both partners working together to forge a healthy state of being together.

Good coaches will help their clients overcome the numerous mindset issues which have arisen over time. As issues are dealt with each person feels lighter, and able to work together with greater cooperation. While it is good to enjoy as much time as possible together, as it builds greater rapport, there are times when alone time can be wise. You never have to spend all your free time together, a proportion of mutual and shared interests that works for both of you can be found. If one or both partners are introverted this needs careful attention. Equally well, if you did develop separate interests at some point, then you can check to see if your partner would like to join you, otherwise create an agreement about those interests that works for both of you.

Again, it all comes down to communication. Holding feelings back, positive or negative, just creates greater challenges to deal with.

Finding The Right Partner If You Do Get Rejected

Take Time To Self Reflect On Yourself If Your Relationship Caused Hurt

You live your own life, and the greatest relationships come when both your personal growth flows together, creating deeper points of connection and love.

There are times when your current relationship may be bring more pain than pleasure, such dysfunctional relationships are usually best of being bid farewell to, with the best thing you can do being to move on effectively.

The Right Partner Stands Somewhere In Your Life you Just Have To Find Them

When your own group, socially, geographically, or otherwise, is failing to yield your ideal life partner, then change your dating pool so that you can find the right person with whom you can enjoy a deeper commitment.

When you are seeking a new relationship, ensure that you are realistic and stick to your values. Find someone who’s on the same page as you with core values, beliefs and matching life goals.

Matchmaking can be very powerful for helping you find that right person with whom you never need hold back your feelings. Holding back feelings stops growth happening, even if sometimes sharing can cause the end of a relationship. Finding that right person with whom you can share your feelings openly, is the healthiest thing to do.

When working with a good marriage agency, or getting help from a skilled matchmaker, it becomes easier to meet the right partner, because they have access to very different dating pools than most people do.

When you’re holding back feelings you’re blocking happiness and love, potentially for the other person as well as yourself. Things have to be judged carefully in terms of communication though, while in most situations the best thing to do is open up and share, there are some situations where communicating your feelings can be hugely inappropriate, wise discernment is essential. If you do get rejected by a love interest, never lose heart, they were just the wrong person for you, the right life partner is still waiting to be found, and will be appreciative when you do share your feelings with them.

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