Knowing what you want in a relationship is vital for ensuring you have good mental health. The people who know what they want, and stick to it, are able to keep healthy relationships relatively easily. Those who are unsure, or do not know, tend to stumble around in the dark wondering why things are so challenging. A little time for thought, with a nudge in the right direction in terms of thinking prompts, can help bring a life time of loving happiness.

In terms of generalized partner attributes that are commonly mentioned when potential clients contact us at Marriage Matching regarding our Japanese marriage agency and international matchmaking services, these three are most common:

  • Kind
  • Loyal
  • Loving

These are things most people want from their partner, though knowing what kind of relationship they want can get more complex.

There is a line that people have between spending too little and too much time together. When someone is introverted, they need alone time to decompress and process. When people are extroverts they need time around others, and this can mean in groups rather than just with one other person.

Add to this the mix of shared and individual interests and things get even more complicated.

Having strong physical attraction only last so long when other issues with romantic relationships come up. Couples need things that draw them closer together in order to have a truly great relationship, and especially if they wish to experience true love. So taking time to work out what’s important to you, and what you want from a relationship, is very wise.

Careful Consideration Of Your Ideal Loving Relationship Is Wise If You Want A Life Time Of Loving Happiness

How Do I Figure Out What I Want In A Relationship?

Consider Past Relationships When Evaluating What You Want In Future

One of the best things you can do when you are figuring out what you want, from a romantic relationship or anything else, is to picture yourself in the future enjoying the outcome that you would regard as a complete success. This is something I have done with coaching clients for over twenty years to help them hone in on what they want and need to do.

Within your mindset there’s a very particular checklist in terms of what your perfect life partner is like, getting into that portion of your mindset so you can understand what you want, and what makes your ideal relationship, is the challenge.

Personal Growth And Reflection

A certain amount of soul searching is needed in order to work out what you want on a conscious level. On an unconscious level everything has been there for years, though few people spend much time navigating that part of their mind. People only tend to have a good idea about what they’re looking for in terms of relationships, when they have spent a good deal of time thinking about it.

Spending time dating can bring up different thoughts. Some partners are completely incompatible, and things register very quickly to that effect. Others are close, though things sit imperfectly within heart and mind, causing indecision about those partners.

Those incompatibilities arise from the realization that things are missing from that relationship, things that you wish were actually present. Gaining an understanding of those things is important. Sometimes communication about them can cause changes which enable fulfillment, other times a clear signal comes that you need to move on.

Taking time thinking about previous relationships, if you have dated before, can shed light on what you want from a long term relationship. Otherwise, projecting out into the future, to a point where you are happy with life and your partner, then exploring your mind at that point will yield the information you seek. Projecting out in this way helps you understand how to be at your best with the person you wish to be with, and thus how to be the person you want to attract too.

What Would I Want From A Relationship?

Well Being Of Romantic Relationships Depends On High Compatibility
Core compatibility is what brings the greatest happiness and love in any loving relationship.

Enjoying the same things helps bring couples together, though there are times when time apart is needed too.

There are some people who want to work with their partner, building a business together as part of their life, and then enjoying time off to relax together as well. Essentially, they want to be with their partner all the time, or as much as possible. For other people, they want to work separately, and only get together during down time when they can relax and have fun.

Everyone is different, and knowing yourself and your own emotional needs is important here.

Your Core Values And Aspirations

Sharing core values and aspirations are generally the ideal in a loving relationship. Sharing those things help ensure that trust is kept high, while also ensuring healthy boundaries are kept, because both partners think the same way, they are also both heading in the same direction when they share aspirations.

A lot of people get hung up on complex thinking about what things are important in relationships, and to what levels. When you take things down to the level of values things become very simple, and minds can come together very easily as a result. When you have a meeting of minds, based on the same or very similar values, then it becomes very easy to achieve agreement on subtle differences in desires with more complex thoughts and desires.

Ensuring Healthy Self Love And Self Esteem

Good Self Esteem And Mental Well Being Benefit Romantic Relationships

Keeping a good mental health condition is very important, for both partners.

When there are differences, and poor communication, things can all too easily slide into the territory of abusive toxic relationships. If you have had issues with these things then dealing with and moving on from past relationships effectively is a wise thing to do. This can be a case of talking to a therapist or getting quality coaching to help you.

Equally well, preparing yourself for a relationship, of which working out what you want is part of the process, is a good thing to do too. When you mindset and behavior are aligned effectively, then that right relationship, with a perfect life partner, generally slips into place very easily. Sometimes searching is still required, getting in the right dating pool especially, but when heart and mind are aligned and you know what you want, success does come more easily. Developing self love and self esteem is worthwhile as it helps you magnetize the results you desire.

When self love and self esteem are kept in good condition, people feel better about themselves, and relationships more fulfilling, and harmony comes more easily too.

What Do I Want In An Ideal Relationship?

By Knowing What You Want You Can Find Someone Compatible More Easily
In short, you want a relationship which has you feeling fulfilled, loved and happy. This means finding someone who’s values and beliefs match yours. Thus minimizing conflict and maximizing harmony.

That’s where the challenge comes.

There are numerous things that people want in terms of a partner, and there’s a separate set of things which they need for a healthy relationship which they’re usually unaware of.

Most people go for looks first. Something which is a natural thing. Physical appearance is how the majority of nature works in terms of attracting partners and mating. While there are many people who state you should disregard looks, the reality is you should find a partner you’re attracted to, because it helps you stay loyal. That is, when you’re attracted to someone, you more easily choose to stay with them.

Importantly you need to have things in common, be able to communicate effectively, and enjoy time together. When you only have looks the relationship usually gets boring very quickly, with decisions following about wanting a better partner, which is essentially a self correcting move.

Finding A Balance That’s Good For Both Partner’s Mental Health Condition

A balance must be found in terms of mental and physical attraction, plus you can add in emotional and spiritual too depending on your motivators.

The state of your most intimate relationship has a massive impact on your mental health condition, and that of your partner too. Just thinking of your partner should create a positive response on a mental and emotional level, often bringing a physical one too, a smile.

When you are with a partner whose personality is too far in variation from yours, then conditions such as depression and anxiety can develop, often leading to toxicity in relationships. Hence why choosing a life partner should be done with great care, and clarity.

When you are considering a relationship, one that you are about to venture into, or one that you’re currently in, give plenty of time to think how being with that person makes you feel. Along with how you are truly likely to feel long term, considering the various situations that can arise in life. This is one reason why during professionally managed partner introductions, or as they’re known in Japan Omiai, potential partners do discuss their hopes, dreams and goals, along with thoughts about where they wish to live and be in the future. When things are at too great a degree of variation partners understand the union would be unwise, even if they do feel attracted.

Of course, if you are willing to change for your partner, then opportunity can change. Just be sure that you will be happy with that change long term.

How Much Time Together?

Explore Your Thoughts To Understand And Get A Sense Of What You Want

Knowing how much time you wish to spend together is crucial.

Consider carefully everything you do in life, your work, your hobbies and pastimes, everything. Note carefully where you would be happy to make time to include your ideal partner.

It may be that you would like to build a business together. Doing this can bring couples closer together, it can also drive them far apart when they have different ideas on how to do things, if you’re going to do it then you need the right partner.

Equally well, if you need quiet alone time for meditation, fresh air, or something else where you need solitude for a period of time, get clear on that so you can communicate it to a potential partner.

Equally well, when there are things that you absolutely want your partner to do with you, sports, travel, enjoying gourmet food, make sure that your potential partner wants to do those things too.

This is why matching mindsets, especially values and beliefs, is so crucial for healthy relationships.

All Your Free Time Vs Some Of Your Free Time

When you need time alone, and your partner wants to constantly be with you, then things will get stressful. At the very least you will need to manage things by careful agreement in order to stay together, though the absence of harmony will cause other issues to arise.

Finding a partner who wishes to spend the same amount of time with you, as you do with them, is a wise thing to do for the well being of both of you.

How To Talk About What You Want In A Relationship

The Most Truly Loving Gesture In Relationships Is Good Communication

Communication is one of the top three most important things in any relationship, in daily life and especially with important things affecting that relationship.

Honest Communication Is Essential

Anything other than open, honest communication, will lead to broken trust. Whether immediately, or longer term, the truth always comes out. Be truthful with your partner, always.

When you have differing opinions, you must be able to be honest about it. Dishonesty destroys relationships, whether in one fell swoop, or by a thousand cuts. Partners must be able to trust and have faith in each other in order for relationships to be healthy.

Something crucial, is that when you communicate honestly, from your heart, with compassion with a genuine desire to improve life for both partners, then agreements can be achieved which benefit the relationship and both of you.

This can include communicating about physical needs and physical affection, challenges faced in daily life where you need emotional support, issues with friends, likes and dislikes in terms of food your partner has prepared, and anything else that raises red flags, concerns, discomfort or anything else where harmony is adversely affected.

When you communicate honestly you have an opportunity to sort things out, and find harmony.

Sharing Life Lessons From Client And Personal Experience

Know What Will Fulfill Your Emotional Needs So You Can Share It Easily

Most people know they’ve met the right person within two to three months of dating, hence the common saying that “you know when you know“. As a marriage agency running an introduction service we have a strict rule at Marriage Matching, from the point of a successful introduction, i.e. when both partners state they wish to continue getting to know each other, they have six months to decide if they’re right for marriage.

When people have been dating for six months, they know each other well. When they have concerns which haven’t been addressed, or there are issues with behavior they feel uncomfortable with, no further time is going to bring greater compatibility.

The success stories from happy couples we have shared come as a result of those couples communicating effectively, knowing what they want, and taking action to progress their relationship effectively. Couples who are a good match, work on their relationship together. When something is wrong, they overcome it together with respect for each other. If something is challenging with one approach, they find other ways to bring the results they desire. If something happens that has them feel bad, they work together to overcome and feel safe and happy together.

Deal breakers are usually apparent early on, provided couples are communicating effectively. When couples have a strong connection, and work together, very little can break them. Relationships which are fragile and break easily, have poor compatibility and often poor communication at their core.

So when you explore your thoughts about what you want from a relationship, be honest with yourself and your potential partner.

How To Find Your Ideal Partner And The Relationship You Want

High Compatibility Is Crucial For Good Mental Health In Relationships

Getting your mindset aligned with what you truly want in life is one of the best things you can do. This very much applies when it comes to finding your ideal partner, and opening a new chapter which will focus on the love of your life.

Every person’s relationship is a product of how fulfilled they and their partner are. So before you focus on sharing any truly loving gesture, or even learning what your partner likes, get clear on what you like and want, it really does matter for the well being of you, your partner, and your relationship.

Once you have that strong sense, and ideally a deep knowledge, of what you want, that is when effective partner searching can begin.

Ensuring The Foundations Of A Healthy Relationship

When you know what you want, the uniform advice from almost all relationship experts is to get in the right dating pool for what you are looking for. When you’re in the wrong dating pool, you will have low to zero interest in those available. When you are in the right dating pool, then options for those who interest you will be many, over time you should then meet the right partner for marriage.

Getting in the right dating pool will happen more easily when someone uses the right Matchmaking, dating or marriage agency services. By knowing what you want, you can then find the right assistance to get introductions to the potential partners you are actually interested in, rather than those necessarily nearest, or those you randomly meet.

By meeting those you’re most compatible with you can ensure you have the foundations for a healthy strong relationship.

By considering your values and beliefs, plus past experiences, you can easily work out what things you want in a relationship. When this seems hard to navigate, getting coaching is a wise thing to do as a good coach can direct questions which bring conscious realization about what will make you happiest, and feel most loved. From their you need to get in the right dating pool to meet the right partner, and then ensure you maintain open and honest communication, in order to maintain good mental health for both of you and a healthy relationship.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This