How To Choose A Life Partner 10 Core Marriage Partner Checkpoints

How to choose a life partner? With great care! That’s the short answer.

Choosing a life partner is all about compatibility, but then you had likely guessed that already. Most people however lack understanding of which points of compatibility are crucial when choosing a life partner. Plus what other traits are vital for long term happy marriage with a life partner.

Of course, everyone is different, we all have our own mindset, things we like and dislike, priorities in life, and many other things which make us individual. Because of this, choosing a life partner is slightly different for all. That said, this list of checkpoints for how to choose a life partner does hold for anyone seriously wanting to find a marriage partner they can enjoy life long happy marriage with.

So, how to choose a life partner? Carry on and you’ll understand what things are worth the most serious consideration.

How To Choose A Life Partner The Top 10 Points For Long Term Happiness

Some of these things may seem obvious, others less so, in terms of how to choose a life partner they are all crucial though. Though even within some points of how to choose a life partner that seem obvious, you will likely discover things worth considering that you never had. This all comes from around two decades of working with people on relationships, fulfillment and helping them create successful results in their lives.

How To Choose A Life Partner:

These things are the 10 core marriage partner checkpoints for how to choose a life partner successfully. Take time. Read carefully through each point in this guide on how to choose a life partner, and you will empower yourself in a way which helps you find that ideal life partner you can enjoy life, and happy marriage, with.

So, make sure you are comfortable, ready to discover some relationship changing insights. Then flow on and understand how to choose a life partner who is right for you.

Choose A Life Partner You Share Passions Or Hobbies With

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Choosing a life partner you share passions, hobbies, or past-times, with is more important than most realize.

While many have that idea now that your life partner should be your best friend, still some people miss by lacking common ground when it comes to free time. Fracturing off, spending time having fun with other people, rather than choosing a life partner they can enjoy those same activities with.

Look at partnerships and teams. Any pairings or groups where time and mutual thinking is enjoyed together, and you see stronger rapport being built each time they are together.

When you choose a life partner that you are going to separate from, and do activities with other people, you are creating cracks in your relationship. They may seem insignificant, they do form though.

Some feel need to have time apart, that short mental health break. Doing something quiet and on your own, just to allow your mind to settle can be good at times. Though when you consistently go off doing things with other people, rather than your chosen life partner, you undermine your own relationship. While catching up with friends is good, when it can be done together you can really boost a relationship. For a start, having that support of friends, family too, really helps a relationship. When people have fun, or simply enjoy time together, it deepens bonds.

When you lack common activities that you enjoy together, time can come when you question why you are together, why you chose that person as a life partner. Especially if there’s someone else you do activities with that you feel attraction to.

Choose A Life Partner You Share The Same Vision For The Future

Choose a life partner you share the same vision and dreams with.

When one partner is wishing to create a life in a single location, based around the home where they spend all their time with their ideal life partner, they are unlikely to be happy with someone who dreams of hopping around the world as a digital nomad, or working for an aid organization which has them working in remote areas months at a time, rarely at home.

When you choose a life partner you share dreams and visions with, then it is easier for you to grow together.

That ability to grow together is a key point in terms of how to choose a life partner. Because you are wanting to find that partner who is right for life, and people do change as life goes on.

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When you lack commonality relationships rarely last, hence why many people break up or divorce. Lack of common ground where partners are concerned in relationships means that usually those people get drawn in different directions. As such getting drawn apart.

There are couples that make this work, however, when you look carefully they have mutually supporting dreams and life values. One may have a pure desire for their life partner to excel and achieve their dreams, while also having a high degree of independence themselves. While the other has dreams of going off, changing the world and making it a better place, and are happy to return home to be with their life partner from time to time.

Such relationships are common when one life partner is a member of the armed forces. Returning to their partner following deployments. Though that return can spark disharmony, as the partner at home has a routine and lifestyle built around being on their own, with their partner ‘disturbing’ that routine when they are home.

Spending time getting to know your potential partners life goals and dreams is crucial for anyone who wishes to choose a life partner wisely.

So, how to choose a life partner wisely? Spend time developing how their dreams and goals align with yours. Ideally you want to choose a life partner whose dreams and goals map closely with yours all the way through retirement and beyond.

How to choose a life partner you can enjoy a life long happy relationship with, ensure your dreams and goals are well matched.

Choose A Life Partner With Shared Values Who You Can Adapt With

Also very important when considering how to choose a life partner, is weighing up how aligned your personalities are.

There is a very useful NLP technique, NLP being neuro linguistic programming, called values elicitation.

During a values elicitation your core values around the subject or area of life being investigated are brought to light. These values are core to everything you do, bringing about your inspiration and motivation within that area.

When people first uncover their values they are usually a little shocked. This is something I have done a great many times with clients during coaching sessions, workshops and seminars. Each time bringing about incredible ‘Aha’ moments that have led to people understanding their lives in incredible ways. Plus making it easier for them to create life change which supports the type of life they desire.

When wondering how to choose a life partner that you can enjoy a fulfilling, harmonious relationship with, doing values elicitations then sharing your values, can open an incredible window that shows whether you were set to choose a life partner you would love life with, or not.

As an important note, values do change.

They are a product of decisions usually made unconsciously. Within workshops, seminars, coaching and therapy sessions I have helped people uncover their values, then clear away issues within them derived from negative experiences. Allowing them to develop values which were positive and empowering very easily.

In addition, at times people will find their life partner changes, without really understand what has caused it. Events such as transition from dating to engagement, engagement to marriage, marriage to parenthood, then children leaving home, can all lead to changes in values. Though some people go through life without ever changing their values.

It’s wise to choose a life partner whose values are well aligned with yours when you start dating. Ideally, go through a values elicitation when considering them as a life partner. Making an agreement that if either of you sense big changes within your relationship at any time, you go through another values elicitation so you can check what might have changed, if anything.

Ensuring you have well matched values is an important step when considering how to choose a life partner. Make sure you choose a life partner who values relationships and life as you do, or as closely as possible.

Choose A Life Partner With Compassion And Forgiveness

How to choose a life partner so you can ensure a long happy life together? Choose a life partner that lives in a manner of compassion and forgiveness.

Things happen, both in life and relationships. When people are angry with each other, hold things over one another, or treat each other poorly, then relationships break down, falling apart.

Being able to let go. Living with compassion and forgiveness, is how you can ensure happiness and stability with your life partner. When something happens, deal with it. Partly this revolves around communication, i.e. choosing a life partner with good communication skills. It also involves choosing a life partner who treat you with kindness.

There is a simple behavior model in NLP for forgiveness which offers something good to work with.

First time, things happen, take it as a life lesson.

Second time, shame on them, they should have learned from the previous time.

Third time, shame on you for believing they had changed.

Basically while compassion and forgiveness are good, and have crucial place with relationships. Boundaries should always be understood and enforced. If your potential life partner crosses your boundaries talk with them, explain, and check they understand. If they cross that boundary again, ask why. Find out if that potential life partner truly wishes to be with you, and if they can modify their behavior if they do wish to enjoy a happy relationship with you.

If your potential life partner breaches your boundaries the same way a third time, and you have communicated clearly about it each time previously. Then likely you should choose a life partner who is someone more suitable.

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Successful life partners treat each other respectfully, with compassion and forgiveness.

How to choose a life partner? Choose a life partner who shows compassion and forgiveness, choose a life partner who is respectful, and treats you as you wish to be treated, for life.

Choose A Life Partner Who Shows And Feels Love Like You Do

How to choose a life partner? By understanding how both you and they demonstrate and feel love.

This important point regarding how to choose a life partner comes from the five ways of demonstrating love as discussed in ‘The Five Love Languages’ by Gary Chapman.

Your Life Partner Will Be Using One Or More Of These Love Strategies:
  • Words of affirmation
  • Acts of service
  • Quality time
  • Physical touch
  • Giving gifts

When first dating, potential partners often use all these strategies, or love languages, to ensure their partner understands they care for them and appreciate them.

Challenges with life partners, that is uncertainty about whether their life partner loves them, arise over time as people default into how they feel love themselves. It may be that both partners still love each other very much, just show it in different ways. Thus leading to an issue where people wonder why they decided to choose a life partner who did not really love them.

An example would be where one person needs physical touch, while the other needs words of affirmation.

So it could be that you choose a life partner who believes that by hugging regularly, holding hands on long walks, albeit in silence, believes that you understand that they love you. While you wonder where the magic went as they never say anything.

Contrastingly, if one partner needs quality time, while the other needs physical touch, those long walks hand in hand, yet in silence, could be totally OK.

Choose A Life Partner Who Shows And Feels Love Like You Do

Understanding how you feel love, then communicating it with your life partner within a state of compassion, is crucial for anyone wondering how to choose a life partner they can enjoy a long happy relationship with. Especially within marriage.

Working out your patterns of feeling love is very worthwhile. Something I have helped many clients to do, and doing so has helped them build very fulfilling relationships with their various life partners and marriage partners.

So, how to choose a life partner you can develop a truly fulfilling and lasting relationship, or life long happy marriage, with? Ensure you choose a life partner whose way of giving and feeling love is one that is compatible with you. Ensure you choose a life partner who also understands how you feel love, and who will do things in line with how you feel love. So that you both feel loved and cherished by each other.

Never underestimate how crucial this is in terms of how to choose a life partner. It’s vital.

Choose A Life Partner You Will Feel Attraction With Long Term

Many people say beauty is only skin deep. Beauty can shine from the inside too as most people know.

Yet while that inner beauty often is what makes relationships with life partners, within marriage especially, work successfully long term. It’s often that aesthetic beauty on the outside which draws the eye when we are first attracted to someone. Of course, there are times when we have known someone for a long time, and having gotten to know them we find them attractive based on their personality.

For most people when they’re seeking a life partner, or marriage partner, it is that first ‘Wow’ moment on seeing their future partner that has them go into action, asking for a date or just breaking the ice so they can start building a relationship.

In terms of how to choose a life partner, finding someone who’s physically appealing is often a key element.

As such, when deciding how to choose a life partner it’s worth considering how they are likely to look in later life. Most people do change over time, in various ways. Some put on weight, others lose weight becoming slimmer, potentially fitter. That physique and look you first fell for them, that perfect life partner, could well be very different in two years time.

When you are considering how to choose a life partner, consider carefully how you and your potential partner are likely to age.

Consider your expected lifestyle, and how that impacts on everything. This ties in very closely with choosing a life partner who you share common life dreams and goals with, along with choosing a life partner that you share pastimes and passions with.

Provided you and your life partner are both active and enjoy fitness related activities, you are likely to maintain your existing physique, potentially improving it. If you are both keen gourmets with little interest in fitness, you could likely put on weight.

All this needs consideration when deciding how to choose a life partner.

For long term relationship success, life time happy marriage, choose a life partner who you are going to stay physically attracted to. Someone who you freely give your attention to as you choose to believe they are truly beautiful and you love how they are as well as how they look. That way you are less likely to be caught later on wishing you had married someone else.

So, a top tip on how to choose a life partner is choosing a life partner you find physically attractive, as well as psychologically and spiritually attractive, a life partner whom you will continue to find attractive for the rest of your life.

Attraction is very important when deciding how to choose a life partner.

Choose A Life Partner With Good Communication Skills

If you had any doubt in terms of factors that are important for how to choose a life partner, be assured that communication is certainly in the top 10.

Provided you want to choose a life partner you enjoy a mutually enjoyable relationship with.

Communication is core to all relationships.

Unless people can communicate effectively, and easily, then relationships break down. Trust diminishes. Faith in each other falls away. Relationships with poor communication between partners disintegrate. Poor communication, along with lack of communication, runs core for most break ups.

Unless people can work through issues that arise, together, then they begin moving in separate directions psychologically, thus pulling that relationship ever closer towards its end.

Successful relationships between good life partners largely revolve around good communication.

When there are issues, good life partners discuss and resolve them.

For life long happy marriage, good life partners talk about many things. They converse, share thoughts, building consistently upon their relationship. With that communication helping them consistent remain close emotionally, mentally, plus in many cases spiritually too.

Earlier one core element shared on how to choose a life partner was shared life goals and dreams.

Choosing a life partner you can adapt with was also shared as being core to healthy, joyful relationships, as was choosing a life partner with compassion and forgiveness.

Communication is vitally important for all these things.

So much within relationships is dependent on having good communication.

So in terms of vital factors for long term healthy relationship worth considering when deciding how to choose a life partner, good communication is one of the most important.

Choose A Life Partner You Can Enjoy Mutual Commitment With

This should almost not need saying, however, while being very obvious to some, there are others that even though they kind of know, they still miss this.

When considering how to choose a life partner, choose a life partner who has equal measure of commitment to you.

If you’re more committed to your life partner than they are to you, that relationship could be short lived, or unpleasant to say the least. When there are differences in how committed people are, bullying, affairs and various other aspects of unhealthy relationships come through.

Often people believe they can change their partner over time.

That they will grow to love them more if they just stick with it and do their best. Tolerate everything they do, and just love them. Well, that could happen, it is very rare though.

In reality, why would you choose a life partner who lacked commitment to you?

This runs parallel with with choosing a life partner who respects you and who you respect too.

When you choose a life partner you are mutually committed with, harmony is far more likely. Especially when your communicate with your life partner well, live your life with your life partner with compassion and forgiveness, plus all the other vital relationship elements shared here regarding how to choose a life partner.

Life partners who are equally committed, assuming that commitment is high, find ways of ways of overcoming whatever situations they experience in life. They work together through tough times, supporting each other, helping each other. Then during good times they cherish that joy and happiness they experience together.

When you choose a life partner that is equally committed to you, you choose a life partner who most likely will be with you for life, for a long happy marriage should you both wish it.

So when considering how to choose a life partner, choose a life partner that you can enjoy mutual commitment with. Then you will be set for a good life together.

This is crucial when considering how to choose a life partner.

Choose A Life Partner You Respect And Who Respects You

Again, as with choosing a life partner who is mutually committed to you, this should really go without saying. Yet many people end up choosing a life partner that has little respect for them, or who they have little respect for.

Love truly flows when people respect each other, fully.

When people respect each other, they care for each other, they are good to each other.

So naturally, when considering how to choose a life partner, it’s crucial for anyone who dreams of long term happiness within their relationship, to choose a life partner they respect and who respects them too.

Respecting someone means accepting people for who they are, free from judgement.

This can mean recognizing that they have a different way of doing things, though if that works for them then fine. You can respect someone without liking them. There are many people who have accomplished things in life which are incredible, yet as people they are less than pleasant. They still however have people’s respect.

That said, it is going to be much better, when you choose a life partner that you both respect and like.

Happy Couple Engaged

After all, it’s easier to love someone completely when you’re both in harmony, complimenting each other. Rather than having facets of your personalities which repel each other.

When you choose a life partner that you respect, it means never belittling them, talking down to them, or mistreating them.

Likewise, when you are considering how to choose a life partner, you would be best to choose a life partner that never talks down, belittles, mistreats, or abuses you in any other way. This is very much a case of ‘do unto others as you would have done unto you’. There is nothing religious to this. There is a spiritual quality to it though, something most people could view as karma.

The world, and everything within it functions on balance. So be careful how you treat others, and how you allow them to treat you.

If you choose a life partner that mistreats you, then you are giving out a signal that you are OK with that. This is usually an unconscious signal, as very rarely do people consciously wish to be mistreated. Those who choose a life partner who mistreats them, be that person a narcissist, or some other abusive type, are setting themselves up for great unhappiness. That person may change, though such change is unlikely, unless they face a crisis which causes them to desire personal growth and life change.

As such, when considering how to choose a life partner, ensure you are choosing a life partner who treats you with respect. This again runs hand in hand with choosing a life partner who treats you with kindness and compassion. These core elements of how to choose a life partner are vital for long term happiness and happy marriage.

So consider very carefully how much you respect your potential choice of life partner, and how much they respect you, when considering how to choose a life partner.

Choose A Life Partner You Will Have Mutual Stability With

How to choose a life partner you can enjoy a life long happy marriage, or partnership, with? Ensure you choose a life partner you have mutual stability with.

Many people face challenges, ups and downs, in life. For those who have challenges within their relationship, with arguments and fights, life loses much of its reward and joy. When people have challenges with work, money, health, and relationships, life can become too much and various psychological issues, especially depression, can ensue.

So it’s crucial when deciding how to choose a life partner that you choose a life partner that you have stability with.

Couples can have their off days, being able to quickly recover from those is critical for a happy stable relationship. Plus, such days being few and far between is important too. Which is why so many of the above criteria for how to choose a life partner have been shared. This is all about creating a relationship which is healthy, joyful and inspiring for you to share life together.

After all, it’s best to choose a life partner that you wish to spend your time with, because it enriches your life, and brings mutual happiness.

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When you choose a life partner that you have mutual respect with, a life partner that you treat with kindness and compassion, a life partner you communicate well with. Then you create more solid foundations for stability within your relationship, making lifelong happy marriage very easy to achieve.

When stability breaks down, relationships breakdown too.

When life partners continually do things that ensure stability within their relationship, then that relationship can weather storms which would wreck havoc on others.

If during dating you and your potential life partner irritate each other, then life with them is likely to be challenging. Coming to the point where you would prefer a different life partner.

When you are dating someone who inspires you to be with them, because you actively enjoy their company. Whom you wish to support and nurture in their time of need. Plus during your time of need they wish to help you, and nurture you. Then likely they will be a good life partner, and you can form a healthy, sustainable relationship with them.

When considering how to choose a life partner, relationship stability is worth considering very carefully.

Choose a life partner who being with is easy, enjoyable, rewarding and enriching. It is a crucial element of how to choose a life partner you can enjoy being with for life.

How To Choose A Life Partner Compromise Or Wait For Your Ideal Life Partner?

Something that concerns many people wondering how to choose a life partner, is time.

Naturally, everyone wishes for their ideal life partner.

Wedding Ideal Life Partner

Also, most people want that ideal partner right now. Waiting for them can bring stress, even concern about whether they will actually meet their dream life partner, or whether their life will slip past never having met them. Yet having met people who were close matches for their perfect life partner.

Statistically odds diminish when you become more specific about who your ideal life partner is.

If your ideal life partner just has dark hair and brown eyes, or blonde hair and blue eyes, then statistically it will be easy to meet them.

Yet when you bring in criteria regarding education, hobbies, type of work they do, their age, etc. then those criteria alter your chances of meeting said ideal life partner.

So when considering how to choose a life partner, think also about how long you are willing to wait for your ideal life partner, versus what compromises you may be OK conceding so that you can actually get on with enjoying your life with someone who loves you.

When you are giving thought to how to choose a life partner think very carefully about what is necessary, what is desired though can be altered, and what would be good if possible though can be lived without.

Of course, these top 10 elements on how to choose a life partner should be considered very seriously. They are core to happy relationships, happy marriage.

No-one knows their future, or anyone else’s. Anything can happen. Having faith that you’ll meet your ideal life partner is good. Having a very clear image in your mind about who they are, what they’re like will help you attract them. As will having a mindset and heart clean and clear so they can flow to you easily, through the law of attraction.

How NLP Life Coaching Can Help You Find Your Perfect Life Partner

For anyone who’s been through challenges in life, getting good NLP life coaching prior to looking for a perfect life partner, or choosing a life partner, is highly recommended.

Most people have little idea how their mind influences the results they experience in life, and how cleaning up their mindset, their thoughts and emotions, can dramatically change their life. Having a mind clean and clear can also make things much easier when you consider how to choose a life partner, as you become more in focus with who will be good for you for life.

If coaching sounds like it would benefit you in terms of attracting that perfect life partner, we would be happy to recommend good NLP coaching services, just get in contact with us.

Getting help from a good NLP life coach can help you clarify everything in your mind, plus release everything that held you back from being truly happy. While also meaning that you can attract your prefect life partner more quickly and easily.

While outside of the 10 core elements of how to choose a life partner, this is something that can really supercharge your ability to find your perfect life partner.

How To Choose A Life Partner And Choosing Your Ideal Partner

How to choose a life partner? With great care!

Give yourself time, work through this set of core elements outlining how to choose a life partner.

Get things clear in your mind, in terms of what you want from your perfect life partner. Plus what if anything you may be OK with compromising on.

Never however, compromise on being with a life partner who respects you and treats you with kindness and compassion. Being respected, being treated with kindness and compassion are crucial for happiness within relationships and marriage.

When you have issues with self-esteem or self-respect, get NLP life coaching before settling into a relationship. You will find that through doing so, your relationship will be brighter, more loving, more fulfilling, which realistically is what you wish for.

How to choose a life partner? With diligence.

Never rush into something, unless that truly is your perfect life partner.

Take time, allow yourself opportunity for understanding how that person fits your desired image of your perfect life partner. For anything out of place, decide how that makes you feel, then work out what to do.

Our core recommendations at Marriage Matching for anyone wondering how to choose a life partner, which are not in any set order because they’re all crucial really, are again:

  1. Choose A Life Partner You Share Passions Or Hobbies With
  2. Choose A Life Partner You Share The Same Vision For The Future With
  3. Choose A Life Partner With Shared Values Who You Can Adapt With
  4. Choose A Life Partner With Compassion And Forgiveness
  5. Choose A Life Partner Who Shows And Feels Love Like You Do
  6. Choose A Life Partner You Will Feel Attraction With Long Term
  7. Choose A Life Partner With Good Communication Skills
  8. Choose A Life Partner You Can Enjoy Mutual Commitment With
  9. Choose A Life Partner You Respect And Who Respects You
  10. Choose A Life Partner You Will Have Mutual Stability With

Ideally take time with pen and paper when considering how to choose a life partner. Go through through these core elements.

Decide whether that person you’re considering fits these things well.

If they don’t, they may not be your perfect life partner.

If they do, great. How well do they fit everything else you want from your perfect life partner?

When you are just wondering how to choose a life partner, yet have no-one in mind, just meditate on these things, combine them with other traits, characteristics and things you’re interested in. Building up a strong image within your mind of your perfect partner. So you know exactly who you’re looking for, which makes finding your perfect life partner much easier.

Getting Help Searching For A Life Partner

Getting help searching for a life partner can be very beneficial.

For those that struggle with finding a good life partner, providing they are wanting to get married, marriage agency Marriage Matching can provide help.

Final Tips On How To Choose A Life Partner

When considering how to choose a life partner, decisions are best made when giving yourself time.

Rushing into things often means you overlook important things, which could mean choosing a less than perfect life partner.

Those who truly care about you, who love you. Will be OK with you taking time during your decision process. So never rush yourself, instead allow yourself quiet relaxed time when contemplating how to choose a life partner. It will serve you well.

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