How do you know when you know? The usual answer is very circulatory, with most people just saying “you’ll know.” The reality is this phenomenon is rooted in mindset and psychology, with lots of factors coming together on an unconscious level so that people can understand that love is real.

What often starts as a simple physical attraction in the early stages, then buds into a potential partner becoming more than a best friend, is often what leads to highly compatible partners becoming a married couple.

From experience running Marriage Matching, doing personal and relationship coaching, focused on mindset, with different people, a huge amount of observation of couples, both successful and unsuccessful, has brought a lot of opportunity to understand the mechanics of love and relationships.

Indeed, one thing that is extremely notable, is that when people do meet their perfect life partner, they do inherently know it. It may take a little time for the proof to sink in, and the admission to be made, deep down they do know though.

A Successful Relationship Has More Factors Involved Than Is Possible To Track Consciously So Knowing Is Very Unconscious Thing

When You Know You Know Meaning

Commitment Compatibility And Positive Emotions Are Vital For Knowing
People say “you know when you know” as while they understand the feedback exists, they lack understanding as to what causes it. There is deep psychology that holds responsibility for knowing, with your mindset weighing everything up, before creating a feeling that allows you to understand consciously what is going on.

What Do People Mean When They Say When You Know You Know?

Romantic Love Keeps Flowing Long Term For A Good Married Couple

What people are referring to when they say “you know when you know” is that it is impossible to work out consciously, due to the amount of things involved.

Most people have little understanding of psychology, and how mindset works, hence the simplification to “you know when you know.” Essentially your mind is constantly running a real life version of an incredibly complex mathematical algorithm. While you could attempt to write that algorithm down, it would only ever be an approximation, and would almost always be out of date, largely because it’s subject to constant change.

For most people, their preferences when they’re 18 are different to when they’re 40, in a noticeable way. Though they can vary minutely on a moment by moment basis.

Your mindset runs algorithms for everything in your life, from relationships to vacations, cars to food, well being to education. Constantly giving you emotional feedback through emotions as to whether something is right for you. Unless you’re a top sommelier you would unlikely understand the full balance and depth of flavors and aromas in wines, coffee, chocolate, or whatever point of speciality you have.

However, you do ‘know’ when you like something.

When You Know You Know Love

Emotions Are How The Brain Explains Perceptions Of Love Vs Lust

As with all things, your mindset runs an algorithm for love and attraction, fine tuned against your values and beliefs, and updated with feedback from potential partners in real time.

The output comes in the form of feelings, their level of strength or gravity having you knowing how much you like someone, and how right it is being with them. Hence why with love, when you meet the one, you will know it.

Is There Truth To When You Know You Know?

The Right Psychological Factors Are The Sign You Are Falling In Love

During the earlier stages of a relationship, especially with romantic relationships, people often talk about what they think is a good sign, or what has them feel weird. These things are point of feedback on specific elements of that relationship.

This is where the truth to just knowing begins to become properly understood and tangible.

Is It True When You Know You Know Psychology

With Real Love The Fun Lasts Longer Than It Does With Lust

Your mind is an incredibly fine tuned computer, with your mindset being the software that runs that computer.

At the depths of mindset are core values, from which beliefs stem. For every aspect of life you have a set of values, even if you’re unaware of them consciously. When you meet and interact with someone everything works through the feedback mechanisms of you mind, essentially working out how closely they fit with your values and beliefs, and giving you the feelings which are interpreted in terms of how much you like the person.

Because of the huge number of factors involved, it would be nigh on impossible to consciously work out if someone is “the one” and whether true love could flourish with them.

So when you meet someone, you mind first off runs checks on their appearance, depending on how they fits with your values and beliefs you may gain feelings of physical attraction. Then, more feedback is gained when you interact with them, about how their behavior fits with your ideals and desires. Huge amount of data run through your mind, causing you to know how much you like that person, and whether love flows for you, or not. Over time, and with more evidence, more factors get checked off, and you come to know whether a partner is right, or not.

So yes, from a psychological perspective it is true that you will know when you know, as your mind will give you the feedback at a magnitude which is appropriate to how right that relationship is. The greater the magnitude being strength of feeling, while the positivity or negativity, having you understand whether that relationship is right or wrong. While many doctors cite the presence of dopamine as how people know they’re in love, it is the mind which triggers the release of dopamine. That only happens when the psychological checklist has been properly checked off.

Is It True That You Just Know When You Meet The One?

Romantic Love Is A Good Sign Of True Love In Early Stages Of Dating

Yes, and in some ways, no.

Issues with mindset, especially with limiting beliefs and things like low self esteem and lack of self love that can come up as a result, can wreck very unpleasant effects.

For a lot of people, those with a healthy mindset, and the right focus, they do just know when they meet ‘the one’. So building self love healthily is important.

Do People Always Just Know In A Romantic Relationship?

A Healthy Relationship With Romantic Love Is Support For Knowing

People with a healthy mindset, free from limiting beliefs, always know when they’ve met the right person, yes.

When people have issues with limiting beliefs, low self esteem, are lacking in self love, often with a fixed mindset, they can have real trouble knowing if someone is right or not. Often second guessing themselves, and staying in a relationship longer than is healthy due to beliefs about what they do and do not deserve.

Naturally there are different levels of effect, with various things coming into play.

People who find themselves in abusive toxic relationships often seriously struggle to know whether they’re with the right partner or not. They are wired differently, and what others can easily perceive, becomes blurred or completely distorted for them. You can’t change people like this, unless they have become motivated to change their lives themselves.

Other people, with fewer, or lesser issues around self worth and esteem, often question things, and come to points of challenge regarding whether they could find someone more compatible, or whether that relationship is as good as it gets.

Romantic Love Evolves Differently For Different Couples

Attraction And Positive Feeling Build Relationships In Earlier Stages

Love can creep up slowly, or come all of a sudden.

While you could be friends with someone for years, without finding them attractive, something can suddenly shift within your mind, a new perspective, which has you falling in love with them.

For some people, and we have seen this from Omiai, Japanese introductions done often as a result of matchmaking, people begin falling in love at first sight. Often letting us know that they have zero desire to meet anyone else as they believe their Omiai partner is the one, and often they are right.

Sometime love is on a slow burn before people realize that they have found the right partner, other times it can come in a shock like fashion, albeit a good shock.

How Long Does It Take To Know You’re With The Right Partner?

Dopamine Release Is One Way Your Body And Brain Describe Feeling Love

While most people date for a long time, their justification being the length of time it takes to get to know someone, and all of their habits, in reality people generally know they’ve met the right partner fairly quickly.

From experience running a marriage agency over many years, and coaching people through the ups and downs of partner search, getting their dating mindset and relationship mindset properly set so they can focus effectively on finding ‘the one’, people usually know within 2 to 3 months of dating. Whether those are in person dates, or video dating due to the fact they’re in a long distance relationship.

One particular marriage agency client that often comes to mind knew they’d met the right person during their first Omiai. From the point of registration to announcing marriage was just 87 days. That couple is very happy, and building a truly loving family together. Real love on a very inspirational level.

On average clients are with Marriage Matching for about 8 months, and universally we have seen across the success stories where couples that form successful relationships and get married, that they know within 2 to 3 months that they’re with their perfect life partner.

A Healthy Relationship Is Core To Knowing True Love

When You Enjoy Each Other's Company You Hear Positive Mental Feedback

As a single person it is relatively easy to lead a calm and peaceful life. When a new person is added into your life, time is needed to learn each others habits, from which adaptation becomes possible in order to create harmony. As you spend time together, with lots of communication and talking so you get to know each other deeply, that idea of love, plus thoughts of how the future together would be can formulate.

When it comes to love, the real thing comes along with a degree of rarity.

Perceptions can get carried away with the excitement of attraction to beauty and body. Getting caught up in lust, letting yourself fill in the blanks as you imagine how good the rest of your life could be with that latest attraction could be, is often what brings heartbreak.

Much of the world has things topsy turvy when it comes to finding that right partner to marry.

For anyone seeking a wife or husband, for life, the foundation always has to be shared core values, beliefs, common interests, plus the ability to mutually support each other which installs greater faith in that relationship.

Finding that combination is the challenge, and while attraction in terms of looks is important, it is at best secondary to the various psychological factors involved.

Being With The Right Partner Stems From Mindset And Dating Pool

Partners Notice Falling In Love When Mindset Compatibility Is Shared

Finding the right partner is the biggest challenge most people face in their life.

It is one of the most important things to get right, as future joy, happiness and stability depend on it. Marrying the wrong person leads to huge challenges, which tend to be psychological and cause great impact across all aspects of life. Marital breakdown tends to bring doubt, wonder about the meaning of everything, to the point of nihilistic behavior, and the need for help with moving on from that relationship.

Your ability to find your right partner stems from your dating pool.

When you stick to traditional social venues, for example bars or cafes, or wait for chance meetings, then you are limiting your options. Yes, this is a limiting belief. That said, most people lack the clarity of mindset needed for the lightning to strike without help.

Dating apps and sites help to an extent by putting you in a large pool of those who want some form of relationship, though few seek real commitment.

Getting introductions is about the best way to find the right partner for life.

Granted, introductions can be done by friends or family who know someone who would be that perfect match. When such recommendations are lacking, then talking with professional matchmakers, or going to a good marriage agency is wise.

Matchmaking and marriage agencies ensure that their clients are in that right dating pool, so only meet those they are highly compatible with, with potential matches having closely aligned visions for the future. It may still take a few dates and introductions to find the right partner, though on average clients of such agencies tend to find the right partner within 6 to 12 months, which is far better than most people ever do without help.

How Help From Relationship Experts Can Be Beneficial In Finding The One

If You Feel Weird Then Likely Your Partner Is Not The One

Choosing the right partner for marriage is a big deal, it’s one of the top three components for fulfillment in life, and brings huge joy which is ongoing when it happens. Having the sense of relationship experts, along with their advice, brings massive benefit in terms of knowing when you have met the one.

While small gestures, and the right words when heard in romantic settings, or other things drawn from preferential love languages keep people interested.

Crucial Advice
The Brain Explains Compatibility Using Feeling Due To Complex Factors

It’s the deeper psychological compatibility that makes things last. Yes, compatible love languages do help, yet only when core values, beliefs and interests are also aligned.

People notice that dawning knowing when the unconscious checklist in their brain fills up. While they can start to fall in love much earlier, it’s the sense of peace they feel in terms of faith that everything they and their partner do brings joy to each other. That mutual commitment exists, free from any worry about the future or what might happen. Romantic love blossoms into understanding over the course of time when dating, and it’s only when that ideal relationship checklist has been properly checked off within the unconscious mind that you know. Hence, you know when you know.

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