Everyday life brings opportunity to interact with various people, unless you are very introverted or living a hermit type lifestyle. Yet even with opportunities to interact with numerous people, actually finding people who are suitable for the type of relationship you desire can be rare. Even rarer is actually just encountering those you share that alignment of vital core values with, and that alignment is essential for happy relationships.
So, what does the single person looking for love do to overcome these challenges?
Many interested in finding love have turned to online dating sites and apps to increase that chances of finding that perfect match, though it can safely be said that not everyone has a positive experience regarding many of the well known and widely used apps and sites. For many they end up needing support from friends and family due to unpleasant experiences they have due to meeting people who are far from properly aligned with their hopes and dreams.
Yet the journey of dating can be navigated successfully, and there is good reason to have high levels of confidence in your ability to actually find your soulmate, and kindle the flames of true love so that you can enjoy a world of love filled with harmony and goodness.
Provided you take on the right dating mindset, having actually cleaned up and let go of the past, then actually get yourself in the right dating pool, then a relatively easy way to find love can be found.
The Right Dating Pool And Mindset Are Vital For Single People Searching For Love
Single And Looking Meaning
Single in reality means unmarried. That person could be happy with being on their own, and enjoying the quiet of their own company. When they are looking, it means they are seeking a partner. So the joint meaning of being both single plus looking, means that person is unmarried and wanting to find a partner.
Does Single Mean Not Dating?
No, a person can be single and dating, or single and not dating.
The marital status of single purely means they are unmarried. It is possible therefore for someone to be single though in a relationship with someone, yet unhappy and looking for someone more compatible to be with.
What Does Single Looking To Mingle Mean?
Single looking to mingle means that a person is unmarried and looking to meet people with a view to a relationship. Keeping in mind that dating and being in a relationship can have different expectations to different people. Some are only seeking casual dating, whereas others are seriously seeking the one for marriage.
When you are looking for a long lasting relationship, be very careful when choosing who you date with, and how quickly things progress. Always seek someone whose ideals for life and relationships align very carefully with yours.
What Is The Best Way To Meet People?
Whether you want to find a husband or wife, or something less committed, there are numerous ways to contact new people to talk with and invite out on a date to get to know better.
Many people get married with someone they grew up with, some sources say two thirds of couples start out just being friends though there is minimal evidence regarding the actual numbers involved. That said, sharing time together in school and community can bring shared experience that brings alignment in beliefs and values. Overtime what starts out as friendship turns to a deeper attraction, and they naturally slip deeper and deeper into a committed relationship. For other people, help is needed to actually connect with that ideal match whom they find attractive, and who is also properly compatible in all the ways that truly matter.
Online Dating Sites And Apps
Apps and various online dating sites are of course where many start their journey looking for love. They offer what seems to be a good opportunity for new things, yet many find themselves disappointed as time progresses with such apps.
For many, beyond the initial excitement that comes from opportunity and seeing thousands of profiles, turns to a sense that something’s wrong, either with themselves or the approach. They begin to notice issues with possible matches, with various single men and women being somewhat different than suggested in their profiles.
One reality is that many using such services, free ones especially, is that they are just looking for fun. Others are already in relationships. More still want to be with someone, yet out of marriage and without serious commitment. Things which often lead to increased mental health issues for those using such platforms.
Yes, some do find love through such approaches, they are the rarity though. In the U.S. approximately 30% of adults have used dating apps and sites, yet around 50% have labelled their use as being a negative experience. The fact that less than 50% use such service to find a spouse or long term partner means few truly find love, especially as those not seeking that are only interested in casual dating or worse.
Common dating sites and apps do provide an opportunity, yet the comment from most of their users is a warning sign to those in search of true love. If apps are something you want to progress with, check the online dating advice for success post.
Speed Dating Events
Speed dating has been been around in different forms since 1996, with the original speed dating events having been started purely to help members of the Jewish community in Los Angeles specifically to meet a compatible match for marriage.
All over the world now, there are speed dating events in most cities run by organizations wanting to help people meet new people to date and form a relationship with. Some are focused on general dating, others more towards marriage, it varies.
While speed dating is a little more targeted than most apps and sites, with events usually targeted to specific age groups or interests, they often have a very limited pool of people to meet, who are usually all from the local area. In a large city this can be OK, the larger the population then potentially the greater the chance of someone with truly aligned interests and goals being met.
Speed dating works on the principle of thin slicing, where those involved unconsciously sense the potential sign of compatibility within around 30 seconds of meeting, and those few minutes they have together being a chance to test harmony with each other. It may seem short, yet the reality is that people do generally know, on an unconscious level at the very least, within those first few moments of meeting someone, how compatible they are. The reason most relationships go on longer than they should, is that most people consciously over-rule their instincts rather than paying heed to them.
Speed dating events do provide an opportunity to meet people, it should be noted that options are limited and if you miss the unconscious signals that arise while you talk with someone, you could get into something for longer than is wise.
Matchmaking And Marriage Agencies
For many the prospect of getting help through matchmaking or utilizing the services of a good marriage agency is something that either seems beyond their reach, or too expensive. Granted, using matchmaking services does require a significant investment. Professional matchmaking requires skills and time, and in any consulting or professional role there is always an investment required in order to gain the benefits which come from the work involved. So, hiring a matchmaker is something that requires commitment and diligence in itself.
Marriage agencies are often lower down in people’s awareness, at least in most western countries. For Asian countries use of a marriage agency is actually relatively common, especially for those dating in Japan, where dating is rarely done casually, and those who are dating are seriously looking to find a spouse.
Both matchmaking and marriage agencies bring a more targeted facet to dating. Matchmakers take on responsibility on a professional level, and reputational level, to ensure that their clients only meet people that they truly believe there will be high compatibility with.
Equally well, with marriage agencies all clients are checked and vetted, at least by reliable agencies, to ensure that they are truly single and only interested in marriage.
Something which is useful to note regarding the search process is that there are niche agencies and matchmakers that cover specific situations, namely locations, ideal type, cultural preferences and more, for example some seek out the services of an international matchmaker when they wish to seek someone from overseas, or potentially a Japanese marriage agency for those specifically interested in dating with Japanese people to find a spouse.
Preferences for most people can be met by appropriate services, though naturally doing your due diligence, talking with and checking up on any professionals you are considering using are wise courses of action, even when you have good levels of confidence.
Dating Advice That Is Core To Find Love That Lasts
Actually sitting down and reflection on the question “what do I want in a relationship?” Is a wise thing to do. Choosing a life partner is definitely one of the most fundamentally life impacting decisions a person can ever make. Few have a solid idea of what they are looking for, which can be OK, provided that everything on an unconscious level is positively aligned and free from limiting beliefs. Actually having a clear idea on a conscious level about what to look for in a partner for marriage and happiness, can make finding that perfect life partner far easier.
Letting go of the past, actually becoming able to healthily overcome breakup and then also move on from past relationships, is essential to being happy both now and in the future. It can be relatively common to wonder “will I find someone better than my ex?” Something which generally blocks ability to find love and happiness as it masks a limiting belief around being able to do so. The reality is that in most situations relationships break up due to lack of compatibility, though death and a minority of other issues can be at cause. On top of this, people move on from all manner of things, including a relationship with a narcissist, and regularly move forward to find love after a divorce.
Provided you get your mindset in healthy order, including your dating mindset, then it actually becomes relatively easy to find that special someone. Having a healthy mindset brings greater self confidence, while also enabling healthy self love and esteem, which all make it easier for the law of attraction to work effectively. Plus, with your mindset properly attuned, it becomes easier to properly notice and acknowledge the signs that you’ve met the right person.
Personal growth is key to finding true love, when you love yourself, in a healthy way, for who you are, then it becomes easier to attract in someone with whom you feel loved and complete.
Getting good coaching, or taking time talking with a therapist or other skilled mental health professional, can be incredibly wise. Most people overlook this, and largely believe they are OK, even if they have been through an abusive toxic relationship in the past. The reality is, most issues that affect people’s lives are deep below the surface and they rarely have any awareness of them. Yet still the effects are felt, if rarely understood.
When you are in a healthy state mindset wise, it becomes easier to meet that ideal match, it also becomes easier to build and maintain a relationship that’s healthy with them. In part because there’s less conflict, internally and with them too. While friends and family may tell you you’re OK, if you have even a remote feeling that you’ve stuff that’s unresolved from your past, get professional help to deal with it so that you can experience a truly healthy love.
Something else which is crucial, yet few properly account for, is that when you are seeking someone to be with and love for a lifetime, that you need to have shared values. Values in relationships play a far bigger role than most realize, get alignment there, and many other things will click into place with ease.
How To Ensure You Develop A Healthy Relationship
Shared core values and having good honest communication are two of the top things vital for building healthy lasting love.
Good communication is comprised of various things, the actual message being conveyed, the ability to be honest, and the ability to be open and respectful with any matter being communicated.
From the neuro linguistic programming model, which sadly few have heard of, these are three aspects that form how communication works:
- The actual words used 7%
- Tone of voice 38%
- Physiology 55%
These things are worth reflecting on if you are having challenges with communicating.
Equally well, the level of eye contact is important, especially as many gauge an ability to to trust from how much eye contact and at what points it engages. Too much will get uncomfortable, too little will reduce rapport. This along with the three aspects from the NLP model form a crucial part of how to get someone to like you, which is important on an ongoing basis.
On top of this, effort is wise to put into actually developing the other traits of healthy relationships, of which mutual respect, quality time and maintaining healthy boundaries are just three key points.
Love Languages Ensuring You Both Understand You Are Loved
Whatever your stage in dating and being with someone, when you are looking to grow healthy levels of love together, then understanding each others love languages is important. There are five love languages, and while many use all five in the early stages, most people to default to their single preferred love language after some time.
The Five Love Languages
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
- Words Of Affirmation
- Acts Of Service
- Gifts
While defaulting to your preferred language can be OK, provided you both share the same one, when each person has a different preferred love language then misunderstandings can occur, and couples can be left wondering where the love went.
By knowing and acknowledging each other’s preferred system of showing and acknowledging love, it is far easier to keep things healthy and on track.
At Marriage Matching we regularly post advice and insight to help people, both clients and non-clients, achieve the love they desire in life. So please do check out our latest articles as you will likely find more that can help you.
Finding The Right Partner With Greater Ease
When looking for someone with whom you can have a long lasting love, ensuring you have shared core values is crucial. Finding that person is naturally the challenge, especially if you also want them to fulfill various other important criteria such as being physically attractive.
While online dating sites and apps can be useful, as can speed dating within suitable niche events, the rate of success climbs steeply when people use matchmaking and marriage agency services. Finding someone to enjoy time with is relatively easy, finding a wife or husband you can enjoy a harmonious marriage with is more challenging because more factors have to align.
At Marriage Matching we have helped a lot of people over the years, and something of regular note is how quickly people find that ideal person once they’re focused and committed. On average we find that people find their ideal match within 6 to 12 months, and they usually know within 2 to 3 months of dating that they’ve met that ideal spouse.
Stephen Frost
Founder
Stephen Frost is the founder of Marriage Matching and uses his deep experience of coaching and mindset to help people achieve fulfilling, loving, and healthy relationships.