Dating in Japan is very different to other countries, especially western countries. There is an air of elegance and respect which flows commonly through both how dating culture and where couples go when dating in Japan. Understanding these things, along with how to actually meet potential partner is crucial for anyone seeking dating success in Japan, and with Japanese women or men.

Japanese people are generally quite reserved, they never share contact information with people they’ve just met, except in very rare circumstances and situations. Usually introductions are needed by mutual connections in order for dating to even be considered. This level of reserve is well reflected in where people go on dates, as well as expectations around behavior when dating.

If you really want to find someone who loves you for you, and the right person for you for life, then note well that the vast majority of Japanese women and men are looking for their soulmate, or at the very least true love. There is a high level of importance place on love, and genuine relationships in Japan, hence a large part of the reason that Japanese people are well known for their loyalty.

If you plan on meeting and dating Japanese people, then be ready for a steady methodical process of getting to know them, before holding hands or kissing are even deemed appropriate.

Public displays of affection are uncommon in Japan, though very occasionally you do see older married couples and younger people holding hands in public. It is however extremely rare to see anyone kiss in public, something that should be considered very carefully by anyone thinking of finding a Japanese partner. Most public displays of affection are considered rude by society, and that is taken seriously by most people. If co-workers or bosses see such things words are likely to be said at work, which can cause challenges, especially with progression among other things.

That said, if you have been dating with someone for a while, and are seen out holding hands, then things should be OK, even garnering approval from colleagues and bosses. Just be careful, and show respect.

Knowing good places for different types and stages of dating in Japan, plus progression of acceptable behavior, will serve you well if your intent is finding a loving Japanese marriage partner.

What To Do And Where To Go When You’re Dating In Japan So You Stay On The Right Side Of Japanese Dating Culture

Japanese Culture

Japanese Dating Usually Starts Out As Just Friends And Develops Slowly

Japanese society, and culture by extension, are very unique and often regarded with a level of mystique as a result. There are things shared on travel programs, websites and forums that give rather distorted views of what life is like in Japan, and what people are like. Understanding coming from people who have lived here can be distorted too, depending on their mindset and experience from life in Japan.

Things Which Are Common In Japanese Culture

  • Honesty
  • Kindness
  • Loyalty
  • Gratitude
  • Gravity
  • Reliability
  • Elegance

While people do enjoy life in Japan, they also take things more seriously than in many other countries.

If you have an appointment, or a date, at 2:00p.m., you would be wise to be there and ready at 1:45p.m., lateness is viewed very poorly as it makes people look unreliable and rude. Even just a couple of minutes late can create a negative impression which is challenging to change. Repeated lateness, or showing up seemingly hurried at the appointed time, will trigger a negative view that breaks romantic, business and other relationships.

Beauty has a high appreciation in Japan. While beauty is always in the eye of the beholder, people have an appreciation that people perceive things differently in terms of physical appreciation. They also go beyond the usual western norms, including behavioral aspects as part of beauty. This relates to reliability, which is considered rude and ugly, along with sense of gravity and how serious people are in relation to that situation. Honesty, kindness, loyalty, and gratitude all get encompassed within perception of beauty too.

The point being, there is a very different way of thinking in Japan, being aware of it, and assimilating is wise. Those who stick hard to the culture of their previous or birth country will find things getting uncomfortable for them. A certain level of tolerance will be shown, though that will only last so long. Equally well, for those planning on moving overseas from Japan with a partner after marriage, expect some parts of the culture to come with the relationship.

Japanese People And Dating Culture

Many Japanese Lack Belief In Love At First Sight Dating Can Take Years

Dating with Japanese can be wonderful, though there are many things to be aware of, Japan after all has a very different culture to the rest of the world and different societal values as a result. By extension, dating culture in Japan is very different to almost every other country in the world.

There are some fundamental things to be aware of, and you may well find contrasting opinion in other parts of the web, mostly colored by certain people’s experiences based on their own perception of life and living in Japan. The difference here is that at Marriage Matching we have observations and interactions spanning years of service and multiple people, something which facilitates better analysis and understanding of the realities of dating in Japan.

While there are many actively wanting to find love, there is also a reasonable proportion who are truly scared to fall in love, due to the perception of pain that they may endure if things fall apart. For some that can be enjoy to block them from dating for many years.

How People Meet And Date In Japan

Building A Social Life In Big Cities Is A Slow Way To Meet Someone

Because Japanese society is built on trust, connections are vital, for everything. When it comes to business, knowing someone is important, you must understand if they are dependable, honest, and reliable, amongst other things.

The same is true for dating too.

Unless you have mutual connections, people will almost never share contact information, or agree to go on a date. Unless they have spent time living overseas, and have a different world view, though even then it takes a high degree of confidence in the potential partner to agree to communicate or meet for a date.

Most Japanese women and men who marry meet at junior high school, high school, or university. It is rare for couples to meet through work, partly because workplace romances are very much frowned upon. People are expected to be focused and efficient at work, intimate relationships can cause many problems in the workplace, hence being frowned upon.

This is one big reason why many Japanese people find themselves single for a long time after university. They often move away for work, and find themselves in a place where they only know their coworkers. It is fine for socializing, though often results in them deciding to focus on career for longer than they may have desired previously. Many eagerly look forward to the marriage celebrations of their friends, in part because they know there will likely be single friends that they can meet at the parties, and thus opportunities for them to find love too.

Events And Seeking Professional Help
Matchmaking Is Far More Common Than Speed Dating In Japan

Often around the ages of 27 to 35, with a later tranche being from 37 onwards, people consider their options seriously. Some will consider apps, though generally those less serious about finding a partner to marry and have a family with.

Speed dating events are rare in Japan, and online dating apps have largely failed for cultural reasons, notably the major issue around trust and dependability.

Those who are serious, and committed to getting married locate what they believe to be the best marriage agency to work with, and begin having introductions, or as they’re known in Japan Omiai, in order to meet the right partner. The process dares back to the 16th century, and having declined in use through into the 1970s and 1980s, the appeal of using a Japanese marriage agency has been on the rise again, with 15.4% of marriages coming as a result of their usage in 2022, and 20.4% of the population indicating they wish to use them in 2023. Many will seek out a local one, usually a Tokyo or Osaka based marriage agency, due to issues around trust and access. The exception being when they are interested in international matchmaking as they wish to find a foreign partner.

A core reason for the desire to use a marriage agency is the trust that comes with it. Due in large part to the fact that members go through background checks before registration is permitted, and most agencies are very professionally run.

Group Dates Are Relatively Common Among Young People In Japan

Some marriage and matchmaking agencies hold matchmaking parties, or run group dates, where people can meet. Though those attending have to be members of those agencies, or sister agencies through which they are affiliated via one of the big federations that unify most agencies in Japan.

While matchmaking parties tend to be some thing those in their twenties try, people involved work out fairly rapidly that finding the best match comes through agency help with searching, i.e. matchmaking and going through individual profiles then setting up an Omiai.

More can be understood about why people choose to follow this path in the section on serious dating and marriage agencies. One of the key things to remember, is that trust is a major factor needing to be fulfilled before Japanese people will agree further communication, let alone a date.

Japanese Women And Dating

Japanese Women Look For A Loyal And Caring Partner Who Provides

While everyone has their own mindset and personality, Japanese women are generally more timid and conservative than women from other countries. This is far from an indication about them knowing what they want though, Japanese ladies tend to have a very clear idea of what they want in terms of a partner, and the life they expect to have with them.

While Japanese girls can be free and fun loving to an extent, there is a clear cut off point in their minds, overstepping it will end the relationship very quickly, and potentially result in behavior like ghosting if they believe their partner has pushed too far. They generally have good healthy self love and self esteem, and zero desire to be messed around.

Early Stages With Japanese Women

Most Japanese women prefer to date during day time on the weekends, or depending on their work and schedule for dinner after work during the week can also be acceptable.

Dates should be easy going, in public places, where they can feel safe and at ease. Trust must be built steadily over time, and attempting to rush things will get a cold shoulder at best.

Compliments are wise, though should be kept conservative and naturally honest of course.

Physical affection is something that most will only want to come gradually. Grabbing the hand of a lady or girl you’re on a date with could seriously break rapport, without you actually knowing until later as to how much. If you wish to hold hands, allow it to happen naturally, or ask her permission first. This may seem strange, it is a different culture though, and one to be respected.

In the first few dates, hugging and kissing are extremely unwise to attempt, unless you have seriously clicked with each other. Even then, attempting to kiss and hug in public is usually very unwise, public displays of affection are poor etiquette in Japan, and likely to cause embarrassment and discomfort for your date, for which they may not forgive you.

Pushing to far seriously breaks rapport and can end relationships.

Mid Stage Dating With Japanese Women

After quite a few dates, ten or more, depending on how well you are getting along, holding hands or a quick kiss in public may become acceptable. Again, Japanese culture is very different to western and many other cultures, if that upsets you then it’s likely best to rethink plans for dating in Japan.

During the mid-stage evening dates become more acceptable, though men should always be content with maybe a slightly stronger holding of the hand, or a quick peck, before bidding goodnight to their date at the station.

There is a myriad of etiquette around dating in Japan, getting to know it, and getting comfortable with it is wise. Especially you want to find a Japanese wife.

Japanese Men And Dating

Every Japanese Guy Wants A Girl Who Will Be Kind Hearted And Loyal

Japanese men can be fairly diverse. Dating Japanese guys involves very carefully getting to understand their character. Some are very calm and relaxed, with a truly kind and generous nature, as they seek to provide for the family they wish to build. Others can be very demanding, and rigid with what is done and how. Others can be outright passive to the point of needing to be led.

A fairly high level of calibration is needed in order to understand character type and desires when you date Japanese guys. So be prepared for some potential uncertainty, and keep room to re-evaluate, so that you can adapt as necessary. Something relatively universal though, is that they expect potential partners to be well presented, maintain good hygiene and be loyal.

Early Stages With Japanese Men

Etiquette in Japan means that day time dating, in public places, is the norm. As a result, going for lunch is often done. Depending on the man in question, they may ask for preferences about what their lady would like to do, and then plan something accordingly. There are times however, when the man will expect the lady to plan a date that he will enjoy.

Traditionally, Japanese men will treat their date. That said, if their date goes wild with what they’re ordering, they will often take that as a bad sign about her character, and likely forego any further dates after that one has finished.

Mid Stage Dating With Japanese Men

Many Japanese men do enjoy a drink, with a reasonable number of single men, and some married ones, going out for a drink after work. During the mid stages of dating with Japanese men it could well be that they ask you to meet them for a drink after work. While they may have one or two, they will remain sober, and will frown upon any drunkenness in a potential partner. While they may enjoy a drink, and see fairness in sharing that activity, they also want a partner who will be reliable and able to look after a family after marriage. Being respectable is an important quality in Japan.

Whatever your stage of dating, never feel forced into something, nor should you ever force anything yourself. Kindness and caring are two of the top qualities sought in partners in Japan, so keep things in bounds. Most men will understand, and potentially have more respect for you, if you let them know in a gentle way that they are going too far. So stick to the culture and etiquette, it will serve you well.

Religion And Dating

Something fundamental to Japan, is that very few people are religious. Spiritual yes, religious very few.

They are however happy with how they are. They will pray and give thanks at shrine during key periods of the year, especially at new year. They will visit and enjoy Buddhist temples too.

Expecting them to change religion for you is extremely unwise. Leading them down a path to the point of marriage, and then saying they need to convert, will likely bring a righteous degree of anger.

If you are absolute in your need for a partner of your religion, it is likely best to find someone already in that religion. If you are keen on dating someone Japanese though, you absolutely must be upfront about your religion, and how it relates to them, before you even start dating. This cannot be emphasized enough.

Religion and spirituality are very personal things, and people should never, ever, feel forced into changing their belief system.

Dating Foreigners

Foreign Men Can Be Regarded With Suspicion Until Properly Known

There are a lot of misconceptions about dating foreigners in Japan, many of which come from foreigners themselves. Be careful what you read and believe in various forums and sites online.

Yes, some Japanese people have zero interest in dating someone from overseas, and there are a myriad of reasons for this, all of which are personal to the individual concerned.

Equally well, many Japanese are open to dating a foreigner. Something notable is that more Japanese men date foreign ladies, than Japanese ladies date foreign men. Something which surprises a great many people when they first find out.

One thing core to the challenge for those from overseas dating in Japan, is bridging the trust issue.

Dating life, and finding a romantic interest, is one of the culture shock issues that hits most foreigners when they come to Japan. Whether travelling, or to live. Most expect to just continue on life pretty much as usual, yet in a land filled with exotic beauty and wonderful kind hearted potential partners who will be eager to date someone from a foreign country. Whilst some of that is the case, life is very different in Japan, the culture and etiquette are especially foreign to most, and without that all important trust, nothing can progress beyond a friendly surface level konnichiwa.

Cultural Differences And Assimilation
Japanese Dating Etiquette Is Much Stricter Than In Overseas Countries

There are very definite cultural expectations, some of which may sound strange to those from western countries, though for anyone serious about finding a loving, romantic partner in Japan, they are important to adhere to.

Taking things slow, far slower than western countries, is expected. Never pressure partners. Keep physical contact relaxed, especially early on, and avoid public displays of affection as they are greatly frowned upon and can cause huge discomfort for Japanese partners as a result. Honor, politeness, and good behavior are core to Japanese culture, if you’re going to live or date in Japan then assimilate its culture and ways, it is a big deal, get used to it.

Again, as mentioned in the section on religion and dating, if you are of a certain faith and expect your potential partner to convert, tell them at the very beginning, and let them choose. Not doing so is incredibly rude, especially in a country where faith and spirituality have a rich history that’s long established.

Online Dating In Japan

Japanese Couples Meet In Real Life Before Romantic Feelings Develop

Online dating is definitely a thing in Japan, it is however done very differently by those serious about finding a partner they can love and trust.

Use Of Dating Apps

The usual dating apps are largely ignored by people in Japan, or used in different ways, notably some that are heavily used in western countries to find dates, are instead used to make friends with new people by Japanese people.

Japanese people serious about dating and finding a partner go to very select dating apps, which are usually part of a wider service, often with a trustworthy federation or Japanese marriage agency. The most popular dating apps work very differently to how popular dating apps work in other countries as a result. Japanese apps require membership to a stricter service, and have very particular rules regarding their use and behavioral standards.

Use Of Dating Sites

As with apps, most dating sites are ignored by Japanese people, unless they are run by Japanese marriage agencies or a federation based in Japan.

There are some city run apps and dating sites, though they only operate in certain cities and prefectures, and are largely for the residents of those locations.

Serious Dating And Marriage Agencies

Marriage Agencies Are Of Utmost Importance To The Japan Marriage Rate

Anyone who is seriously looking for a partner, i.e. their core purpose for dating is to find a marriage partner, goes to a marriage agency, unless they meet through a social group or have extensive enough contacts to have introductions from mutual friends.

Japan holds to its traditions, and with good reason. The culture in Japan is one reason that the country is so safe, peaceful and harmonious. So when people are seeking a serious partner they opt to use services which they know are best placed to help them find the right match for them, and their life.

Everyone Serious About Love Goes To A Marriage Agency

Matchmaking Events Like Omiai Are More Reliable Than Speed Dating

As previously mentioned, especially in the page about Omiai, professional matchmaking and introductions have been an important part of life in Japan since the 16th century. For several centuries they are how numerous Japanese people have met their marriage partners, and while their was a dip in the late 20th century, use of marriage agencies in Japan has seen an increase since the early part of the 21st century by those wanting marriage and love.

While Japan is a very trustworthy place, filled with honest, kind hearted and caring people, there is still an inherent mistrust of what a person is like beyond the surface level. While everyone knows they can trust others in public, and on a surface level, there does exist a certain detachment and uncertainty of what they’re truly like on a deeper level. Unless a good deal of time has been spent getting to know them, and their real character.

It is for that reason that it is exceptionally rare for people to exchange contact information with someone they’ve just met.

Getting in the right dating pool in Japan is very challenging without connections and help.

Hence why use of marriage agencies in Japan is so high, and increasing again. Marriage agencies bring a level of confidence that those that are being introduced are good, decent, and trustworthy people. This in large part comes from background checks done by such agencies, along with the fact that good marriage agencies actually spend time getting to know their clients, and form relationships with them. As such creating windows through which character can be seen which would be impossible for others.

While Some Young People In Japan Speak English Very Few Are Fluent

This can be exceptionally important for foreign men and women seeking a Japanese partner who can speak English. Foreigners are generally treated with respect, though there is often a level of suspicion regarding their motives and intent. It is very common during Omiai with foreigners for them to be asked some very in-depth questions about why they want a Japanese partner, whether they speak Japanese or have been to Japan, and that’s when they’re going through a proper introduction. Trying to meet someone in the way people would overseas is almost impossible due to suspicions about character.

Omiai, or marriage introductions, have a certain etiquette to them. Japanese culture runs through everything, especially important things which impact on life in big ways. When an Omiai has been set, it is like casting it in stone, with the expectation that there will be zero deviation from the agreed time, date, or venue, and that etiquette will be carefully adhered to.

Omiai can work internationally, and yield a successful long distance relationship, it does require the right approach though, and carefully arranged introductions.

So while dating in Japan can be fun, and Japanese people do enjoy fun, there’s a seriousness beneath the service which those involved always do well to remember.

Where To Go When Dating In Japan

Enjoying A Nice Meal Together Is An Expected Part Of Dating In Japan

Having fresh ideas on where to go in Japan when you’re dating can get challenging. Most people will search for the same kind of things, be they galleries, festivals, or something else. To help with this challenge of finding fresh, and potentially different things to do, Marriage Matching has created a set of Japanese date suggestions for different areas, so that you can do something a little out of the box if you feel like it, along with further advice to help you stay in reasonable bounds on a cultural and expectation level with your date.

The Japanese Dating Scene What People Like To Do

Taking Japanese Women Out For A Nice Dinner Is A Wise Dating Idea

Work life in Japan can get very intense, so outside of work Japanese people love to relax and enjoy life.

While there are some similarities, there are also some key differences to the dating mindset in Japan.

Good food and drink are key to life in Japan. The word “Oishii” (美味しい, おいしい) can be seen in many Japanese adverts, restaurants and marketing, it’s simple meaning is delicious, though it goes far deeper. As with much of the language in Japan, there are surface level meanings, then deeper more nuanced meanings. When you’re on a date, and you want it to go well, going somewhere that’s oishii is crucial. The happiness and joy which comes from enjoying good food and drink together, greatly helps build rapport for young and old alike.

Beyond that there is a huge scope for what couples tend to do and enjoy.

Personality obviously takes a big lead. While some prefer the peace and tranquility of walking around the serene peace of temples and shrines in places like Kyoto and Kamakura, others strive for the energy and vibe of Dotonbori in Osaka and Akihabara in Tokyo. Locational cues should always be picked up from talking with the person you aspire to have a successful date with.

Dates should always have a flow from both partners, when you’re to enjoy time together, then you need to be in a place that both of you will feel happy. For some that is the deep culture of a thousand year old shrine or a museum steeped in history, for others it’s a noisy gaming arcade, concert, or theme park.

When you want to get someone to like you, you have to do things they are going to enjoy, and realistically, things you will both enjoy. Unless you’re both having a good time, it will be sensed and cause concern, which will harm rapport and the opportunity to build a healthy relationship together.

First Dates And Omiai In Japan

A First Date Is A Big Deal When You Start Dating In Japan Get It Right

Whether on an Omiai as a result of marriage agency help or one of the very limited in acceptance online dating apps, or a first date as a result of an introduction through friends, first dates should be handled very respectfully. As always, first impressions count, and most Japanese people will easily close off opportunity of further dates if they feel a first meeting has gone poorly.

If you are on an Omiai, then if you are using an agency they will usually arrange the timing and location for that first date. Usually, when done in person as most Omiai are, afternoon tea in a good lounge or tea room will be organized. The expectation will be to spend around 60 to 90 minutes getting to know each other, with a polite goodbye, and maybe an “I hope to see you again.” When attending an Omiai organized through a marriage agency, you should never request or share contact information during the Omiai, it is always done by the nakodo or matchmakers afterwards.

Behavior should be along the lines of just friends who have an attraction to each other, though are well shy of the officially dating point having only just started to get to know each other.

Physical contact should as such be kept minimal. For some, even reaching out to hold hands is going a step too far, so be well advised on this. Japanese girls especially like things to be taken slowly, so they can be sure their prospective partner respects them. Japanese guys often wish to know their potential partner is well behaved too. Romantic relationships among Japanese couples, and international ones that develop here too, generally progress slowly, in a more conservative way that most western countries as a result.

Casual Dates For New Couples Dating

Every Japanese Person Wishes To Be Treated With Respect When Dating

For a Japanese person that has just started dating, things are expected to be kept very easy going.

Things like Universal Studios Japan in Osaka, or one of the other many theme parks around Japan are common places where young couples, and some middle aged ones too, tend to go on a date. They offer a safe, yet fun environment, where Japanese girls can justifiably get close to their partner because of a scary ride, though relax back afterwards.

During the first few dates it is rare to have physical contact, which is worth being aware of so that healthy boundaries can be kept to, and thus everyone remain happy.

Depending on tastes and mutual interests, galleries, museums, the movies, and concerts are all good options for new couples, while also be fun options for more serious couples. The characteristic that’s core being that these kinds of dates can be anywhere from a couple of hours, to a full day or evening depending on how they’re knitted together with coffee, lunch or dinner plans.

For those on the more Otaku, nerdy or geeky, side of things which encompasses both Japanese boys and Japanese girls, even some older men and ladies too, dates involving games like Pokemon Go and the various events held can be great for couple that share those games as a mutual interest. Going and catching Pokemon together, comparing captures, joining and supporting each other on raids, and so much more, can help bring them closer together in a really fun, easy going way.

For those in this early stage of dating, the expectation should be for saying goodbye at the station, with a fond looking forward to our next date coming through when you say goodbye, provided you wish to progress along the path into more deeply getting to know, or becoming more serious, with your date.

Dating For More Serious Relationships

Marriage And Matchmaking Agencies Provide Reliable Introductions

Whether on an Omiai as a result of marriage agency help or one of the very limited in acceptance online dating apps, or a first date as a result of an introduction through friends, first dates should be handled very respectfully. As always, first impressions count, and most Japanese people will easily close off opportunity of further dates if they feel a first meeting has gone poorly.

If you are on an Omiai, then if you are using an agency they will usually arrange the timing and location for that first date. Usually, when done in person as most Omiai are, afternoon tea in a good lounge or tea room will be organized. The expectation will be to spend around 60 to 90 minutes getting to know each other, with a polite goodbye, and maybe an “I hope to see you again.” When attending an Omiai organized through a marriage agency, you should never request or share contact information during the Omiai, it is always done by the nakodo or matchmakers afterwards.

Behavior should be along the lines of just friends who have an attraction to each other, though are well shy of the officially dating point having only just started to get to know each other.

Physical contact should as such be kept minimal. For some, even reaching out to hold hands is going a step too far, so be well advised on this. Japanese girls especially like things to be taken slowly, so they can be sure their prospective partner respects them. Japanese guys often wish to know their potential partner is well behaved too. Romantic relationships among Japanese couples, and international ones that develop here too, generally progress slowly, in a more conservative way that most western countries as a result.

Dating And Couples Activities After Marriage

Good Etiquette And Manners Are Of Utmost Importance For Dating Success

After marriage, or for some after deciding to get married, longer dates over whole weekends become possible. Even as a married couple it is wise to keep the dating spirit alive, so as to keep your love fresh and growing. Of course, there can be other priorities that come along, work and building a family can have an impact, though it’s always wise to do something as a couple, where you purely focus on each other, reminding yourselves of your love for each other.

With Japanese dating culture being what it is, overnight dating is generally only done by those who are truly serious about each other, either being married or have indicated or announced their intent to marry.

Most people in Japanese society wish to save themselves for their ideal life partner, it is an act of devotion, and seen as them being serious about being with the right person for life. Once with that partner they will work to be a better partner, improving harmony and love in a consistent way, so that both can enjoy a great relationship together for life. Activities and dates nurture this way of being for successful married couples and those in serious relationships, because they are committed to being together and the love they have for each other.

Dating Ideas By Japanese City And Area

Most Japanese girls, and Japanese guys too, want to keep things fun and fresh when dating. Constantly doing the same things in the same places is OK for some, though that is a very limited group. Most Japanese people seek variety in places that they go when dating. Partly this is about finding new things to talk about, it’s also about experiencing more of the wonderful country and culture of Japan.

One challenge is finding different things to do, while there are some bloggers and people on social media that do a lot of travel recommendations, there are few that really go into where to go on a date. As a result Marriage Matching has created the following articles and ideas to help with keeping dating in Japan fresh and interesting at the various different stages with a potential partner, across various parts of Japan.

The Japanese Dating Scene Can Take Getting Used To For Foreign Men

When you’re planning on dating Japanese women or men, and find the love of your life be serious about it. Casual dating in Japan is frowned upon, and will lead to a bad reputation for you if you treating dating in Japan like it is often done in western countries. In Japan, casual dating effectively means relaxed dating where you meet for coffee, lunch or dinner, during a phase of getting to know someone with a view to a serious relationship in the future.

Most young women are very thoughtful as to their reputation, and will avoid men they think will treat them badly, or take advantage of them.

Dating in Japan is done with a view to marriage. Japanese women, and men too, want to know there is something more in the future than just having fun in the moment. So plan dating accordingly, and if you are unsure about how deep a relationship you wish to have with someone, then refrain from going beyond tea, coffee or lunch until you are sure you want something that could lead to marriage.

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